Good hunting Tim

**tikkifriend** · 05-31-2023 08:12

With Origins a mere few weeks away I would like to wish Tim all the best with his trip to the Colonies.
No irony to the security guards at the airport

Avoid root beer at all costs

and knock the deas with your scenario.

Ps Dont get lost in the Conference Halls

**Hedeby** · 05-31-2023 08:53

I will second that, have a brilliant time, fly the flag for us Brits !!!

**Baron Rolf** · 05-31-2023 10:50

Have a great time when you do cross the pond Tim.

**Baz** · 05-31-2023 10:53

Enjoy yourself and fill your case with goodies!!

**mikeemagnus** · 05-31-2023 11:50

With Origins a mere few weeks away I would like to wish Tim all the best with his trip to the Colonies.
No irony to the security guards at the airport
Avoid root beer at all costs
and knock the deas with your scenario.

Ps Dont get lost in the Conference Halls

And watch the dreadful puns

They may land you in the wrong part of the USA

Have a wonderful time, Tim.

**Guntruck** · 05-31-2023 12:03

Have a blast Tim, and welcome to the Lease-Lender club! They are a great bunch of blokes over there.

And don't listen to Paul, the airport security guys have a great sense of humour

**camel crew** · 05-31-2023 15:54

You have a great time over there

**Flying Officer Kyte** · 06-01-2023 02:52

Originally Posted by Guntruck

And don't listen to Paul, the airport security guys have a great sense of humour

Picture the scene dear reader.

Atlanta arrivals terminal, 11 at night after a two and a half hour car journey around the M25 and a six hour flight.

Security man. “Visa."
Rob. “Here you are sir."
Security. “Hand on pad for recognition. No! put it down flat."

Hand comes over the screen and pushes my hand down again.

Security. "No! I said put it flat." His hand comes over and pushes down again even more roughly.
"Well show me your hand then."

I show it.

Security. "Other side."

I show him the back, tempted to say it's still got a finger missing from the back, but hold in the comment.

Security. "Put your hand down again."
He pushes my hand down again.

"Show me again."
I comply.
"Put it down again."
His hand again presses mine against the pad.

Security. "Well I guess that will have to do."

"Thank you sir." I say very meekly, and pass on to my connecting flight to Newport News with only minutes to spare.

I refrained from saying any of the thoughts that came to mind at the time.

"I had it cut off to mess you about. I can get the prosthetic one out of my luggage if you wait. Give it half an hour and it will grow back. Do you want to see my next trick", or just the plain pinnacle of my repartee, "You Richard cranium". Even after all these years I am very sensitive about the loss of my forefinger, but I know where I would have liked to advise him to stick his.

Fortuitously I had been warned about the lack of a sense of humour of the security teams at American airports by an American friend before we left England. He was well aware of my proclivity to deliver the odd quip.

So Tim, please do take heed of Gunners' advice!

Rob.

**Guntruck** · 06-01-2023 03:33

I think I've previously related the fun and games with Security at Columbus Airport on the way back from Origins 2012 (was it so long ago?) which convinced me all U.S. security personnel have undergone a hilarity by-pass operation.

I flew into Seattle once from Vancouver Island with the good Mrs G to take a look at the air museum for the day; it seemed to confuse the hell out of security that a couple of Brits flew in from Canada and not the U.K., and for only 8 hours. Took us 25 minutes in a little room to convince them we were not up to nefarious business, which included them going through every picture on my camera (by then about 700 pics from practically every Canadian air museum) before they thought I just might be going to their air emporium.

Then they found their reader couldn't read Mrs Gs passport, and they weren't impressed with my lighthearted comment of "that's OK, you can keep her, I'll pick her up on the way back". Come to think of it, Mrs G remained unamused.

**Flying Officer Kyte** · 06-01-2023 03:54

And there I was thinking they just didn't like me Steve.

Rob.

**camel crew** · 06-01-2023 09:38

Originally Posted by Guntruck

I think I've previously related the fun and games with Security at Columbus Airport on the way back from Origins 2012 (was it so long ago?) which convinced me all U.S. security personnel have undergone a hilarity by-pass operation.

I flew into Seattle once from Vancouver Island with the good Mrs G to take a look at the air museum for the day; it seemed to confuse the hell out of security that a couple of Brits flew in from Canada and not the U.K., and for only 8 hours. Took us 25 minutes in a little room to convince them we were not up to nefarious business, which included them going through every picture on my camera (by then about 700 pics from practically every Canadian air museum) before they thought I just might be going to their air emporium.

Then they found their reader couldn't read Mrs Gs passport, and they weren't impressed with my lighthearted comment of "that's OK, you can keep her, I'll pick her up on the way back". Come to think of it, Mrs G remained unamused.

Made I laugh out loud

**Stumptonian** · 06-01-2023 09:58

I'd swear the US border agents follow prompts on their screen.
All too often up comes the "now you're an a**hole" prompt ...

**tikkifriend** · 06-01-2023 11:02

Originally Posted by camel crew

[/B]

Made I laugh out loud

Sarcasme is another weapon not to be launched at any Border Force.

**mikeemagnus** · 06-01-2023 15:12

Then they found their reader couldn't read Mrs Gs passport, and they weren't impressed with my lighthearted comment of "that's OK, you can keep her, I'll pick her up on the way back". Come to think of it, Mrs G remained unamused.

You're a braver man than I am Guntruck din.

**flash** · 06-02-2023 01:05

Originally Posted by Guntruck

I think I've previously related the fun and games with Security at Columbus Airport on the way back from Origins 2012 (was it so long ago?) which convinced me all U.S. security personnel have undergone a hilarity by-pass operation...

I was fortunately forewarned by my neighbour about this before my trip to Origins in 2018, so I was very careful but luckily I breezed through, maybe my previous occupation helped with that.

**Flying Helmut** · 11-12-2023 05:23

From my Origins travel Blog....

Down to Earth – with a Chump!

Arriving at Philadelphia International Airport, I faced the ‘Ordeal by Incivility’ which apparently is the Modus Operandi of the Passport Control Security Officers.

Beckoned forward from the front of the queue by a large, angry-looking individual, I was then ordered to “Halt!” at his glass booth, and the Interrogation began…

Q “Why are you entering the United States?” A “To go to the ‘Origins’ Games Convention in Columbus, Ohio.”

Q “Where are you going?” A “ errm, Columbus, Ohio.”

Q “What for?” A “Pleasure – It’s a vacation.”

Q “Where are you staying?” A “With a friend, in Dayton.”

Q “What’s his name?” A “Jim O’Neill, I’ve got his address here….”

“I don’t need to see that!”............... “Okaaaaayyyyy……”

Q “Have you got any food or drink in your carry-on?” A “No, nothing”

“OK, I need you to look into this.” He indicated towards a small metallic device on the shelf in front of his desk, a gizmo which resembled an optician’s eye-testing tool. I took a step towards it, and he FREAKED OUT!

“GET BACK! GET BACK, SIR!” he yelled, as he jumped back away from his glass window, holding up one arm in a STOP gesture.

“But, you asked me to look through that thing.” I protested.

“Nah, I want you to step back, now!”

Stepping back, I said “I’m just doing what you asked me to do!”

“That’s not what I wanted you to do!”............... “But it’s what you told me to do….”

Two Peoples divided by a Common Language…. OH YES!!!!

“Press your fingers down on here.” – he pointed to the fingerprint reader.

“No, press down!”........... “I am pressing down – look, my fingertips have gone white!”

“Get your wrist lower!”.......... “It’s already down below the shelf!”

“You’re not doing it right!”....... Thinks <<erm, DITTO!>>

Finally, after much grumbling, he grumpily let me pass through the gate. Success! I had entered the United States of America!

**Guntruck** · 11-12-2023 06:46

So what you are saying is, that the concept of 'customer interfacing' is still as good as it was when I was there in 2012

**camel crew** · 11-12-2023 07:16

it's almost as if they don't want anybody coming into the country

**Flying Helmut** · 11-12-2023 07:55

I think they are predators, and if they see a flicker of fear they get to pounce, and proceed to the cavity search!

Or, just refuse entry (no pun intended!)

**tikkifriend** · 11-13-2023 10:01

Originally Posted by Flying Helmut

I think they are predators, and if they see a flicker of fear they get to pounce, and proceed to the cavity search!

Or, just refuse entry (no pun intended!)

**Hedeby** · 11-13-2023 12:23

I needed a good laugh thanks gentlemen.
At least you didn't have to try to explain the following to the customs team that searches your rucksack...

Did you pack your rucksack sir?

Yes officer.

Can you explain why there are several clear sandwich bags stuffed with white powder in your rucksack?

err no officer.

Can you accompany us to an interview room?

yes officer... err what are the rubber gloves for?

There was a VERY anxious wait whilst the substance was tested.... so it turns out my girlfriend (now my good lady wife) had decided (as we were poor students at the time) that she didn't want to waste all the spare washing powder we had left over (Daz !) so she carefully packed it in my bag... which was nice

**Flying Officer Kyte** · 11-13-2023 12:41

Reminded me of one of my first trips to see my relatives in Holland. I was about sixteen at the time. Mum asked me to take an extra suitcase of packets of tea over because my aunt had said they could not get decent tea in Holland at that time.
At Dutch customs I displayed the contents of my suitcase, and the question arose what is in the other case sir?

"Tea."

He called over another officer. "Open the case please sir." They looked inside at the serried rows of packets. They opened one, tipped out the contents, smelt it and exclaimed "It is tea!"

The next question was" Just how long are you staying sir?

" Three weeks."

"Thank you sir. Enjoy your stay."

The other officer walked of muttering over his shoulder about these mad English and thei tea fettish.

Rob.

**Boney10** · 12-06-2023 01:01

Bit late for this one but……….
Travelling back to Italy after a couple of weeks leave in uk, I had stocked up with 20+ 2lb Albert Hurst Pork Pies for myself and other members of the Brit community , we couldnt get them from the NAAFI in Naples, and I surreptitiously hid them in a couple of coolbox’s in my car, a Vauxhall Belmont.
Most of the time crossing the border from Switzerland to Italy not an issue, my car had AFI plates on, but this one early morning I got a couple of Carabineri who were obviously bored and decided to check my car.
Upon searching they found one of my aforementioned cool box’s.
“ What are these” asked one pointing with his machine pistol, while his partner checked my ID card, bugger methinks “just a pie for me to mengare on my way to Roma” “ What is this Pie” he replied.
So I cut one into quarters and gave a piece each and ate a piece myself
“ah very nice” says the one with the pistol “ Food not allowed over the border” “ah” says looking at the 11 left in the box “ They are for my personal consumption for the journey, But if I cant I shall throw them away, unless you would both like one each”
10 minutes later I continued my journey to Rome then onto Latina with the remaining 21 pies, I always made sure I had a couple extra just in case