MENTAL HEALTH & WELLBEING : CHALLENGES & SUPPORT

[Hedeby]

We are living through what the ancient Chinese once referred to as 'interesting times'.

Basically there's a lot wrong with the world at the moment, whether its wars, Covid, worldwide financial problems, global warming etc. etc. etc.

I'm sure most of us are OK but its fair to assume that for some it is a difficult time. As we come from all backgrounds and from all (well most) corners of this little planet, we must all face different challenges and have different coping mechanisms. Given the increased focus on mental health and wellbeing over the past few years I thought it might be useful to have somewhere on here where we can come together and address this.

Whether you are young or old, an employer or an employee, businessman (or woman), teacher, whatever, it would be great to have a place where you can talk about any challenges you face, how you cope, maybe how you help others to cope and to be able to share what works for you. You never know it might just help somebody.

So join in (or don't), share (or don't) but if we as a community can help just one of us (member or visitor to the site), then surely it must be worthwhile.

Thanks folks....

[crashx]

Bravo, well said Chris!!! We all need to do our small part!!!

[mikeemagnus]

Yea, nice one Wing Co. I'm sure sharing thoughts on troublesome matters helps enormously. Perhaps difficult to share things on a public forum, but also good to know there are those around willing to listen if needed.

[Hedeby]

There are always PMs for sensitive issues...
But I am really interested to hear from those who are helping with Mental Health and Well-being in the workplace and especially in the educational setting. Would love to be able to get some new ideas to take back to the schools I am working with.

[P-51D]

Hey Chris, you dragged me out of semi-retirement/lurking to thank you for making this post. I am a licensed clinical mental health counselor/therapist across the pond. I specialize in trauma, domestic violence, failure to launch, and young adult issues. You’ve hit so many key points in your post. Mental health awareness has never been higher and more needed. In my area we are desperately short from having adequate amounts of educated and trained people to meet the demand, which often leads to longer wait times to see a mental health professional. Here are three current and important things to support mental health that just about anyone can do, with one of the three being very specific thing for the classroom.
1). Mindfulness - these are series of techniques that revolve primarily around breathing and meditation. In short, it’s about being situationally/emotionally aware and providing ourselves with the time and techniques to hold space for our emotions and to take some time to address stressors we may be experiencing. One of these techniques that is simple to do is box-breathing. For beginners, I recommend using a 4 count. It looks something like this; breath-in (while counting slowly t0 4, so roughly 4 seconds), hold your breath in for a four count (4 seconds), exhale for a four count (4 seconds) and hold your lungs empty for a for count (4 seconds). Then repeating this cycle 2-3 times in a row. There are some who like to go to 6 or 8 counts. I will advise that 8 seconds can feel like a very long time, especially if feeling emotionally disregulated, so I would recommend starting with 4 count and adjusting from there.

2. Self-care: This one is exactly what it means. Taking care of oneself from a wholistic standpoint. We are all like batteries and as we expend energy we become more depleted. In order to avoid illness, mental health concerns, and over exertion it’s important to “recharge” our batteries daily. This is done through adequate sleep, healthy diet, exercise, and proper stress management. Sure, you can see a therapist to help with the last one, and it can be extremely helpful. However, there are many other things that can be done, such as reading, quiet time, listening to soothing music, hobbies, meditation, religious/spiritual activities, social interaction for extroverts, quiet alone time for introverts, walk/hiking, travel, meditation, animal time for animal lovers, and so many other things that can sooth our polyvagal nervous system and recharge that emotional power bank. It doesn’t really matter what you do, just see that you regularly schedule the time and actually do it.

3. Move: This one sounds so basic but it is often neglected. For your students ensuring they are actively moving for at least 5 minutes of every hour will lead to better academic results, better overall biological function, and increased positive mental health. Movements release endorphins and hormones throughout our system that are so vitally important to our health and well-being. Students are often required to be in sitting positions for long extended periods of time, especially as they get into higher grade levels. This suppresses natural system wide functions and inhibit learning and proper physiological needs that we all have as humans. We live very sedentary lifestyles compared to our ancestors and there are many trains of thought that this is contributing to the explosion of mental health concerns being noted world wide. Obviously, there is a lot more at play than this one topic causing stress in our lives, but it is one area that awareness and recalibration of how we do things can be beneficial for our mental health and overall wellness.

I have plenty more ideas to share and will do so, if people are interested and as time permits.

[Hedeby]

Many thanks Dan, that is exactly what I was hoping for.

[Dan-Sam]

..

An interesting post, thanks for it

I would highlight especially one technic that works for me extremely well: stay in nature. Doesn't matter if it is a city park, woods few miles away or hiking through National Park, but see, hear and feel wood, dirt, grass and wind. Works 100% even during the hardest COVID times.

[Hedeby]

Couldn't agree more Dan, for me its the Yorkshire Dales, it is scenery for the soul (there are some great pubs as well)

[Dan-Sam]

Well, hiking in UK is an extraordinary experience, quite different from continent or Scandinavia. Five stars from five possible + an extra one for "muddy boots welcome" pubs



PS: These little joys (like a barkeeper who doesn't care about cleanliness of your boots) also helped in blue mood days

[milcoll73]

i think the one thing someone can do to help another is as simple as just listening to them. really listening. even if you cant offer anything else useful or helpful letting someone give voice to their burdens often helps them put it in perspective as opposed to endlessly mentally obsession about it and possibly magnifying it out of proportion. and as the old saying goes "a burden shared is a burden halved."
sometimes its difficult to make the time to listen to someone. but its well worth it.

[Baron Rolf]

Hello chaps. I must say sorry for my absence from the forum. I have been struggling with my own mental health. I have been embaressed to talk about my problems. Most recently my business has been suffering because people have been canceling my window cleaning services because of the cost of living crisis. I hit a low point in my life when couldn't see any hope. I was trying to find another job. I was getting alot of rejections. That is when I started to write a goodbye letter to my wife and two young children. I only wrote a sentence and broke down and cried. My mother always used to say the good things come to those that wait. I have now a new job with a local industrial cleaning company. Today was my first day working for them. With the love and support from my wife and family I am very slowly feeling more like my old self. I cannot believe that I ever contemplated taking my own life. I suppose when life starts to feel like this you reach breaking point.

[CrashCraig]

Mark - thanks for your bravery in speaking out on your situation and thank you for choosing to go forward in life. Stay strong my friend.

[camelbeagle]

Mark, thanks for speaking out! Depression is a horrible thing that drives people to do things they would never think of doing. Glad you have been able to fight the darkness and find new hope.

Back in the 2008 crash in the US I got laid off from three different jobs in the span of six months. I feel you on how horrible it can feel when you are not sure of your future. Especially if you have a family to support.

Hope the new employment works out well and you continue to heal up!

Good luck!

[Baron Rolf]

Thank you Craig. I never ever want to return to the dark place that was making feel like what is the point of carrying on. I have a tendency to bottle things up. Then I suppose my worries began to take control of me. I enjoyed working today , as it made me feel positive. I would like to thank Chris for starting this thread on mental health issues. Talking about your worries helps with the healing process.

[Baron Rolf]

Thank you Dan. I feel like I have just removed a huge weight off my shoulders.

[malachi]

Good on you for sharing, Mark, and very glad to hear you're doing so much better! Always glad to see your contributions here.

[Baron Rolf]

Good on you for sharing, Mark, and very glad to hear you're doing so much better! Always glad to see your contributions here.

Thank you Chris for your kind words. I felt hopeless and worthless, which then fed the dark thoughts in my mind. And that scared the hell out of me. I have now started my mental health healing journey. This new job has given me a fresh start, and a fresh out look on life. And now I am watching the Chronicles of Young Indiana Jones Attack of the Hawkmen with a nice cup of tea.

[Hedeby]

Good to talk to you today Mark, remember you are NEVER on your own, you have my number, am only ever a phone call away.

This is exactly why I started this thread, so we can be here for each other.

[Teaticket]

So sorry to hear what you went through Mark. Always remember there are many of us here for you. Anytime you need/want to talk about anything, please get in touch. Don't ever let that darkness creep back in.

This goes for every Aerodrome member. You are not alone!

[OldGuy59]

When I read the original post, i went to my 'go-to' somewhat fippant answer.

When you get hit with something you can't possibly control (caught in the middle of an avalanch, heading for the falls in a raging river without a paddle, ...), there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. Worrying will not help, so don't. If you can control it, there is no need to worry. So, don't.

Then I read the other posts... There are situations that are so much more complicated. I'm coming up on the anniversary of the passing of a very good friend, and have done so little this past year. I have not even taken out my minis and put them on the table, nor played any of the strategy games I used to play before Mike passed away. Is that part of depression? I haven't gathered with other friends I used to meet before the COVID lockdowns, nor gone to the usual meeting places I used to frequent before March 12th, 2020. Is this a part of depression?

Thank you all, Forum pilots, for being here, and at least in a small way, keeping my brain working and functioning, and keeping me in contact with some of humanity,

I'm not worrying about it. But, I am working on expanding close contact with people nearby. Maybe sometime in the near future, those minis will be on a table.

[Hedeby]

Hope your mini’s get an airing soon Mike

[Flying Helmut]

Really sorry to read about your troubles, Mark, but that is just what this thread is for - sharing problems.

I've had a few issues myself, but nothing compared to yours - I'm also available for you if you need a chat about anything - just drop me a PM to set up a call.

[Flying Helmut]

Hope your mini’s get an airing soon Mike

What he said!

Good luck with reconnecting with your friends.

[Dan-Sam]

@Baron Rolf: Well, I would definitely need services you provide, Mark. Anyway, you did a big thing and deserve respect. Nobody knows how he would act on the edge, but you proved you are a warrior. Salute to you, Herr Baron

[milcoll73]

Hello chaps. I must say sorry for my absence from the forum. I have been struggling with my own mental health. I have been embaressed to talk about my problems. Most recently my business has been suffering because people have been canceling my window cleaning services because of the cost of living crisis. I hit a low point in my life when couldn't see any hope. I was trying to find another job. I was getting alot of rejections. That is when I started to write a goodbye letter to my wife and two young children. I only wrote a sentence and broke down and cried. My mother always used to say the good things come to those that wait. I have now a new job with a local industrial cleaning company. Today was my first day working for them. With the love and support from my wife and family I am very slowly feeling more like my old self. I cannot believe that I ever contemplated taking my own life. I suppose when life starts to feel like this you reach breaking point.

hi mark. i can empathize with your situation. ive been there myself. im glad you felt the warm pull of your family. we should never forget them in our calculations and decisions for the future. i know it hurt a lot getting to that point, but it can be a moment of clarity about just what is, and isnt important in life. for myself it served as an anchor point of sorts, for sorting out priorities in life. i hope it can become so for you as well. the fact that you can speak of it here really shows youve turned a corner in your life. i sense a strength and resolve in your words here. just know that there are many here in our little haven willing to help bear whatever burdens you may feel. it is, perhaps, the kindest and most caring community it has been my pleasure to be part of. a safe haven from the storm. be well and know there are here many hands willing to offer support for whatever burdens you may face.

[flash]

.. With the love and support from my wife and family I am very slowly feeling more like my old self....

I'm very glad you managed to pull out of that particular overdive in your life journey, Mark, it's good to hear things are getting back to a more even keel. Many of us will have been along that road to some extent, or other, it's never easy. It's said what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. I hope this is the case for you and yours as you progress.
(Sh)It happens to everyone from time to time and I feel that my next turn in the barrel will be along sooner rather than later as I'm advised I require some major neck surgery in the near future - well as soon as the NHS can manage it anyway - how that will effect things in the future only time will tell. It's cast a shadow, can't say it hasn't but I'm hopeful it will solve some issues I've been having and I'll be back in action not too long after it's done, whenever that may be.

[Hedeby]

Fingers crossed the surgery goes OK Dave, keep us posted.

[camelbeagle]

Good luck Dave. I hope surgery goes well!

[Teaticket]

Hoping for a success and a speedy recovery. May Nurse Schultz make things as comfortable as possible till you are on your feet again!

[flash]

Fingers crossed the surgery goes OK Dave, keep us posted.

Thanks chaps, it's not imminent but I will certainly let you chaps know when I go in as someone might have to take on the mantle of Uncle for a short while !

[Stumptonian]

Hoping for a short visit with Nurse Shultz, Dave.

[Boney10]

Just read this thread and I must say what an eye opener, although I have seen and been in a few unpleasant and dangerous situations I have been lucky enough to not been adversely affected in my own situations but have seen how it affected others, so, as others have said, I am glad this subject has been raised and the obvious support from forum members. You have renewed my faith in people, nice one chaps.
Dave ( Flash) hope you surgery goes well and if anything I can do to help with any drome things give me a shout.
Mark (Baron Rolf) so sorry to hear about your own issues mate, expect a personal om from me tomorrow, Sunday. You take care matey.

[flash]

...Dave ( Flash) hope you surgery goes well and if anything I can do to help with any drome things give me a shout..

Cheers, chap. Once I get some timings I'll have an idea of what, if any, events it will affect.

[Honza]

Can't get rid of my OCDs. It started 10 years ago from a crap load of stress, then it became a depression, citalec had helped for a few years, but has stopped working. Quality of my life has dropped pretty low. I guess i will have to find a psychologist.

[Larry R.]

Can't get rid of my OCDs. It started 10 years ago from a crap load of stress, then it became a depression, citalec had helped for a few years, but has stopped working. Quality of my life has dropped pretty low. I guess i will have to find a psychologist.

My apologies if this has been already mentioned.....there is a website/app that was a great help for me, Calm. It is not free, but for a relatively small price I learned to reduce stress/anxiety. After a year of brief daily exercises, I felt I could get along without the Calm app. I will say the learned mental discipline is invaluable to me.

[Baron Rolf]

I hope that your surgery goes well Dave. And thank you for the moral boost too mate.

[Baron Rolf]

Just an update. I am starting to feel more like my old self. It hurt like hell to see my business that I had built up twenty years ago begin to nose dive. And I was in denial at first then the depression started to manifest itself, which led to me feeling worthless. But I am on the right road now, and I am so thankfull for all of the pm's of support from you guys. I am so very grateful to have so many online friends on here who have rallied around me. I now have a new job which has given me my pride in myself back. My new company are keen to give me extra hours, because they were impressed by the quality of my work ethic. And my Wife and children have also helped me to realise that through love and support life is worth living.

[Baz]

Just an update. I am starting to feel more like my old self. It hurt like hell to see my business that I had built up twenty years ago begin to nose dive. And I was in denial at first then the depression started to manifest itself, which led to me feeling worthless. But I am on the right road now, and I am so thankfull for all of the pm's of support from you guys. I am so very grateful to have so many online friends on here who have rallied around me. I now have a new job which has given me my pride in myself back. My new company are keen to give me extra hours, because they were impressed by the quality of my work ethic. And my Wife and children have also helped me to realise that through love and support life is worth living.

Glad to see you are getting back on your feet. Not been here too long, but you were the first to welcome me when I joined and that meant a lot. If you need to talk please do not hesitate to PM me.

[camelbeagle]

Great to hear! Glad you are getting better! Hope everything keeps going good for you!

[flash]

I hope that your surgery goes well Dave. And thank you for the moral boost too mate.

Cheers, Mark, me too ! You just keep pulling gently back on the stick and watch your airspeed, you'll soon break through the clag into the sunshine !

[Baron Rolf]

Glad to see you are getting back on your feet. Not been here too long, but you were the first to welcome me when I joined and that meant a lot. If you need to talk please do not hesitate to PM me.

Thank you Barrie for your kind words mate.

[Baron Rolf]

Cheers, Mark, me too ! You just keep pulling gently back on the stick and watch your airspeed, you'll soon break through the clag into the sunshine !

Thank you Dave.

[Flying Officer Kyte]

This is great news Mark.
We all owe thanks to Chris for being sensitive enough to see the need for this thread.
However, bad we feel it would be far worse for our loved ones left behind who would carry the burdon of wondering if there was something they should have done. That is a life sentence indeed.

You can rise again from the ashes of despair as you are showing us all. That in itself is a legacy that may prevent someone making the ultimate mistake.
Well done sir.

Rob.

[Flying Officer Kyte]

IF.

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!
By Rudyard Kipling

[Hedeby]

There are good days and there are bad days.... today was a bad day.
Had to say goodbye to my wonderful, loving family friend.



Thank you for 14 fantastic years Skye, you have left a massive dog shaped hole in my life.

[Guntruck]

Went through the same thing last November Chris. They become part of the family and are deeply missed.

[Flying Helmut]

Aw, no.

Sorry to read this.

At least 14 years will have left you with loads of fond memories.

[Flying Officer Kyte]

I feel for you Chris. It was two years last week since we lost Salem and it stillfeels odd not hearing his cat flap rattle or the sound of his food bowl on the kitchen floor.
Rob.

[mikeemagnus]

Sad day indeeed Chris. Commiserations. And I do know the feeling only too well I'm afraid

[flash]

Sorry for you loss Chris, it's always sad losing a mans best friend.