Yep... it's another one of those weird, ironic, and wordy stories from The Cowman... NO WAIT... DON'T LEAVE YET! I swear this one has a happy and amusing ending...
First, let me show you a map:
In the lower right is Baltimore, Ohio... I live there. In the upper left is the location of the GAMA offices, near the Columbus Convention center in Columbus, Ohio.
As many of you may know, today was the day I had my appointment with GAMA to turn in the roster for the newly formed Buckeye Gamers In Flight, and to discuss and apply for all of the events that a few of us here have been working hard on and plan to run at Origins 2011 this summer.
What you also need to know is that Central Ohio has been under a Winter Weather Advisory for Tuesday and Wednesday, due to the Rain/Sleet/Ice Storm that rolled through our area this week. Parts of Ohio and Columbus got one to two inches of solid ice Tuesday night and Wednesday morning.
So my sister stops by Wednesday morning to pick me up, and we load my power-chair into her van and head to Columbus. The weather in Baltimore is actually not bad at all... the ice is mostly gone, it is windy, and there are some light snow drifts blowing across the roads in places, hampering visibility some. GAMA is about 32 miles from my house, and the trip takes us about an hour, as she was driving very cautiously, as was prudent, for the conditions. We arrive safely in Columbus ( HAH!! You thought this story was going to be about some horrific car accident!!! NOPE! )
We pull into the parking garage next to the Convention Center and prepare to get the ticket to enter. As my sister rolls down her window we here this very loud an annoying alarm noise! BRAAAP BRAAAP BRAAAP!! The lady in the booth opens her window, looks at my sister and says "I am sorry, but your van is too tall for this garage!", which was why the alarm was sounding! I am thinking "Whew, that could have been rather nasty!" ( My sister has a conversion van, and it would have sheared the top right off!)
SO... we back out and head for a second garage, about four blocks away. We pull in, find a space, unload the power-chair, gather up my 5 year old nephew, and head for the street. As we get outside we immediately notice an enclosed walkway above us, and the fact that it is about 20 degrees colder Downtown than it was in Baltimore. We choose wisely, and take the Elevator up to the walkway.
These walkways interconnect among the three huge Nationwide Insurance Buildings, The Convention Center, The Hyatt and Crown Plaza Hotels, and the parking garages in the area. Very convenient for Nationwide employees, and convention visitors. We start navigating the maze of walkways and buildings, following the signs to the Nationwide Building where the GAMA Offices are located. We reach a point near there, and split up. My sister takes Kristopher to "see the tall buildings downtown" (This was his first time and he was very excited... it was cute! He at one point said "This is just like Gotham City!!")
I headed on through the confusing maze to my destination, having to stop more than once to locate an elevator, as wheelchairs and escalators do not mix well... I finally get to 280 Nationwide Plaza. I exit the walkway onto the second floor of the building. Now... I am here to meet a young lady by the name of Angela Ward, who had told me that the GAMA offices were on the third floor, directly across from Rogers Café. I look to my right and I see Rogers Café... I am on the second floor... I am confused... I look to my left... no GAMA Offices... hmmmmmm. No biggie... SO I head to the nearby Security and Welcome station and find the touchscreen directory (there was no guard on duty). The touchscreen directory does not work... sigh....
OK so I am becoming slightly tense... but I hold it together. I head to the elevators, and press the up button. The elevator door to my right opens and I roll in. The doors close and I hit the button for the third floor...
It lights up... and then goes out.... the elevator does not move... So I press it again...
It lights up... and then goes out... again...
It lights up... and then goes out... again... nothing.
Sigh.... so I press the open doors button... nothing happens...
Now at this point it might be pertinent to mention that I am slightly claustrophobic when faced with a situation where I am trapped in a small area.... so am getting a little nervous and I look for a phone to call security or maintenance.... no phone... double sigh... and I am starting to get a tension headache at this point.
I am just getting ready to mash down the alarm button, when the Elevator lurches, and starts to move, accelerating upward. Quickly. Very Quickly! Now my blood pressure and heart rate start to go up along with the Elevator...
OK so here is my current frame of mind: I am in a power wheelchair. I am a little scruffy looking, having a goatee and long hair in back tied in a neat pony tail. I am wearing a bulky Camouflage Army Field Jacket, and my legs are covered with a black blanket. I am also wearing a black stocking cap to keep my balding head warm. SO basically I am a bit suspicious looking.
Oh... did I mention that last summer Nationwide had a couple of bomb threats that cleared out their buildings and forced them to ramp up security??? So I am thinking that when this Elevator stops at the top floor (17) the doors are going to open and I am going to be faced with a security detail in riot gear and armed with automatic weapons... (We live in scary times... and lets face it, I have a vivid imagination at times.) I figured I would be shorting out my power wheelchair at that time. (Use your imagination folks.) So when the door does open, and of course there is nobody there, I immediately slam the joystick on my chair forward and get the heck out of the possessed Elevator.
So now I am on Floor 17, and I turn and see a very pleasant looking security lady smiling at me. She laughs and says "So you got onto the freight Elevator by accident and could not get out huh?" I turn beet red. She tell me that the Security guard in the lobby is supposed to keep that from happening and that she is going to have to give him a call. I thank her and head for a different Elevator and make my way to the Third Floor.
Elevator heads down. Elevator Stops. I roll out... No GAMA... no Cafe... grrrrrr. I stop a passerby and ask him nicely for directions to the GAMA offices. He has no idea. So I think "It has to be on the second floor and Angela just misspoke or I heard her wrong... and so I head for the second floor.
I finally find the GAMA offices, tucked in a little nook, around the corner from where I first came into the building. I roll up to the door and reach to open it. It dos not budge. The office is pitch black through the glass doors. My heart drops into my toes. (Which are really starting to hurt, due to the fact that I was an idiot and forgot to take my meds earlier in my excitement to get to the appointment.) So now, after all that, I am at a loss.
After thinking for a minute I reach for my cell phone. Right then, a security guard walk up and asks if he can assist me. I explain my situation to him... he says "You were the one stuck in the freight elevator, right?" I turn beet red again. I admit to my folly and tell him that I am trying to think of someone to call to find out if the GAMA folks are going to come in or if the weather has kept them away for the day. He tells me that he is going to ask the receptionist if she can contact someone to help me out and leaves as I thank him.
I finally come up with the idea of emailing an employee of GAMA whom I know works remotely from the Akron, Ohio area. I figure if he get the email quickly he will call me and I can get some advice on who to call. I send the email and then roll over to the Security Station to wait. The Guard (who is now there) and I have a little chat about my story and laugh a bit... and then I roll into Rogers Café for some decaf. (My nerves certainly did not need stimulating at this point.) As I am pouring myself a cup, my cell phone rings, startling me and causing me to pour hot coffee on my hand and arm. At this point I am ready for a sedative and a nap. I answer, noticing that the area code of the incoming call is not from Akron , but is instead from somewhere local. Roger Ward introduces himself to me and apologizes for all the trouble. Roger is the director of GAMA and it seems his wife Angela forgot about our appointment, and when he had stepped out to go into the office he took one look at the Ice and wind and said "Nope, we are staying home today." I commented that he must live on the North side of Columbus where they were hit way worse than in my area. He replies, saying that he actually lives in Pickerington, Ohio. Pickerington, is 15 minutes from my house and is where my FLGS is located. I laugh and tell him that I live in Baltimore....
He then laughs and says " Oh yeah? I run the Martial Arts School in Baltimore!" Now my heart oozes out of my toes and puddles onto the floor beneath my wheelchair. I reply back to him, "You mean the Martial Arts School that is located in the building with the HER Realtor's Office?" "The one that is directly across the street from my house???" Sigh...
So now we come to the happy ending... and the summary of ups and downs:
Down: I did not get to meet with the folks from GAMA today and turn in our applications.
Up: I did have one heck of an interesting adventure while trying.
Up: I found out that I do not have to pay the $50.00 registration fee for the Club Application - Great news that will save us even more money
Down: by the time I payed for gas for round trip, lunch for the three of us, and stopped at the Comic Book Store below the Convention Center and bought my nephew some "Superheroes" (Heroclix...he gets so excited about it and I can't resist him!) ... I ended up spending right around $50.00 - But it was worth it in the end for the adventure and the story rights!
Up: Tonight I will be hobbling across the street at 6:00 P.M. to meet with Roger Ward and go over all of our Origins details and applications. This is assuming I am not struck down by a farm tractor or chased by crazed killer bunnies...
I have to say this: ever since I "Reported For Duty" finally back in October, I have had some of the most crazy, interesting incidents, and adventures ever... It is something about this place... The Aerodrome... it changes your life somehow... or at least it has mine!
And so far, I love it!
Time for The Cowman to go back to bed now...
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