Sorry Chaps I screwed up and flew Biff when he was in Hospital, I'll see if I can substitute Jerome Dupont into the story instead but that might be beyond my editing skills, so you might have to use your imagination. My apologies.
I've changed the Butchers but can't delete the rogue picture so I'm not going to mess with this further. it doesn't alter what's supposed to be a bit of fun.
Cheers
Things were getting more than a little worrying; I’d been flying round in circles for nearly an hour now trying to figure out what to do. The constant westerly wind had gradually pushed us in an easterly direction. We had drifted from our side of the lines, over no man’s land ever East and now we were still going round in circles but over the German side of the lines.
That was bad but what was more worrying I could see 3 black specs approaching from the east and they were more than likely German planes, the only thing that could make it worse was if the 3 black specs coming from the west also turned out to be Germans and not the British planes I was hoping for.
Normally I would have just cut the power back, lost altitude, and crash landing in my inimitable style, trusting to luck that I could find my way back to the Squadron through the lines in the dark. It’s been done before and better than being attacked by hostile planes when your ride is unresponsive to the controls. The reason I’d not done that is because I had Nurse Schultz in the front seat of the Fe2b and she was definitely not a combatant and would probably be shot as a spy by the Germans.
Of course I would also be shot for carrying a spy but being a gallant airman that was of secondary importance to me, I was more concerned that it would put something of a damper on our blossoming relationship.
As they drew closer I could see that the planes were indeed British although how that would help I could not really envisage.
You may be wondering what I was doing flying in circles over German territory, well it’s a long story but the short version is that I’d promised Nurse S a ride in one of our new Tandems, the one and a half Strutters, - yes I know that’s a ridiculous name for a plane.
Well I was grounded by the M.O. after that recent debacle of a night landing but I felt fine and it was a clear crisp day and the C.O. and Uncle were up at H.Q. listening to some daft plan to get us all killed. Well the upshot was that when Nurse S dropped in for a chin wag I’d suggested I take her up and give her a spin, just around the airfield though. Without a moments hesitation she agreed that was a wonderful idea, although was a bit disappointed when I told her the Sopwith’s were all out on patrol and we’d have to do it in my old FEE, V for Vagabond.
I think she was quite impressed that the RFC had provided me a plane with my initials plastered all over it and I didn’t disabuse her of that idea, all’s fair in love and war.
She might be regretting that enthusiasm now, especially when one of our Nieuports opened fire on a German Albatros Dll just off our port side.
I could see the nearest plane to us was C2 and I knew it would be Bouncer Berry flying her, we weren’t on the best of terms due to a disagreement over another Nurse, Bunty Hamster-Crust my old childhood sweetheart but that’s another long story.
Bouncer was making straight for us and I worried he might not realize I wasn’t in full control of the Fee and we might collide. I needn’t have worried though.
Because he just flew straight into us. That was a bit of a shock but the Fee is a tough old bird and we didn’t seem to take any damage although the rudder was lighter for a minute and I regained control, but only for a few seconds and it soon returned its previous state.
I’ll come back to that in a minute because as always, things happen fast in an air battle or dog fight as we like to call them.
I’d mentioned the Lewis gun to Nurse S before we took off and she seemed to have a very sound understanding of their operation which surprised me somewhat, although the more I learn of the Nurse the less I’m surprised.
Well some nasty Hun had crept close to us and opened fire. Rather than duck down in the cockpit and scream for help Nurse S cocked the Lewis and returned fire, blow me down if the Albatros didn’t erupt into flames. I could feel the Fee taking hits but it seemed as if it was further back, probably in the tail because yet again the rudder felt more responsive and I could steer a straight course.
Berry had completed an Immelmann turn after driving into us and now he opened fire, I wasn’t sure if he was firing at the Albatros behind us or at me, but the other Albatros coming in from our port side was certainly firing at us.
I’d been surprised by Nurse S’s response to the first Albatros but I was even more surprised when she made a grab for the central Lewis gun, the one that’s on a pole between us.
We call it the Strange Mount, it’s an ‘in’ joke that I’m not privy to, so I can’t explain it.
The mount allows the Observer to fire over the top plane of the Fee to the rear and the Albatros was close enough to enable her to do so but as a novice she was a little slow to react and it was out of range before she could bring the gun to bear and fire.
This is the view the Albatros pilot had of V for Vagabond and you can see his bullets slicing through the lattice work holding the thing together. The fireball behind us is Nurse S’s handiwork. The bullets flying into the fireball are Berry’s handiwork.
I don’t think I’ve mentioned why we were flying in circles.
I found out later, which rather gives the game away that we survived, but that I’d managed to pick the one plane on the field that was under repair. The Oik fitter working on the plane hadn’t put a notice on it to that effect.
There was an intermittent fault on the engine that only became apparent once we reached 8,000 ft and there was a problem with the rudder. I’d been showing off to Nurse S and done a fast turn to port and that’s when the blasted thing had stuck, we’d been going round in left hand circles ever since.
However I was starting to wonder if it could be jarred loose, Berry’s collision and then the damage from the Albatros gunfire had momentarily freed it. Maybe if I could persuade one of our planes to try and tip us that would do the trick and we could get out of this jam.
I don’t know when I’ve had such a daft idea but maybe I’m not alone in that.
It was chaos as usual, Berry seemed intent on chasing me down and woe betide anyone who got in his way.
The Albatrii were so concerned with his antics that they nearly flew into each other, bit of a shame they missed, but there you go.
We take a few more hits from the plane behind us, and there’s more chaos as Berry continues his wild ride.
I’d no idea what had got into the man but he drove straight into the Albatros, of course with his flying skills he missed.
But he came back and tried again.
A) Jerome had only just come back on duty after being shot up and wounded, I don’t think he’s flying on all cylinder’s, normally he would have been all over this Hun instead of being on the receiving end.
B) Taki is trying to take the heat out of the Hun’s attack on Biff but not succeeding at all.
C) There’s a short lived return to form as Jerome blows holes in his adversary.
D) But then he’s back to being the target again as the other Albatros attacks from his port side. He though cause enough damage to the green Albi to send it home.
Berry was still behaving strangely and is now flying home, one Albatros is chasing him and the other is returning to the fight.
Taki continues to try and help Jerome out as the Fee continues to fly in circles, and I look at the fuel gauge shake my head and worry some more.
I’d tried to indicate to Taki what the problem was and how I thought he might be able to help but there’s only so much you can convey with hand signals at a hundred miles an hour.
I rather hoped he might have grasped this though because he started to stalk my Fee, matching my turns and slowly gaining, but it was very slowly. I was certain the Hun scouts would figure out our flying pattern even if not why we were doing such a mad thing.
Berry had escaped the chasing Albatros and it had now returned to attack us, Taki was still not close enough to try out my desperate plan. Nurse S was peppering the Albatros with bullets but as this was her first time firing from a moving plane her shots went wide at what would have been normal long range for a regular Observer. I was amazed that she was so adept with the Lewis and no slouch at all when it came to changing drums. It went through my mind that there’s more to Nurse S than meet’s the eye, but I was just grateful she was putting up such a fight.
As soon as the Albatros got closer she started to get hits on him, serves the bugger right but then he opened fire on Taki who was still sticking to our tail even though this was putting his own life at risk.
Just to show the relative positions around the Fee, Berry has gone home and the other Albatros is well away from the action at the moment.
A) Taki is still sticking with us so I’m pretty sure he understands what I’d like him to do. Nurse S is looking over her shoulder a bit wild eyed, I’m not sure if it’s from the excitement of firing the Lewis or the coming collision. I point front and left and she responds immediately.
B) The blasted Albatros had Immelled and was attacking again, she opened fire as he came in but again the bullets went wide.
C) But as he got closer, yet again she started to put holes in his plane, nothing serious enough to send him off home though mores the pity.
D) Taki’s propeller was almost nibbling at my tail plane, would we be able to pull this off, it was looking very likely that we could manage to collide, the only question was, how controlled would that collision be.
I felt a slight nudge to the Fee and the plane responded immediately.
We climbed up and right and Taki went left. Looking back I could see that he had a slice of canvas missing, but half what it might have been if he hadn’t flown so well.
Jerome was still in trouble and as it turned out he’d been wounded in that last pass and lost control of the badly damaged plane. Recovering briefly he managed a fairly steep glide, before hitting the deck with the plane rolling onto its nose, then I saw him stagger away from the wreckage before collapsing on the ground.
The Albatros had made a wide turn and was back on Taki’s tail. Normally I would have Immelled to get back to help but with Nurse S in the front seat I daren’t do that and so I was making a long slow turn to starboard. The damaged engine and tail made this slower than I would have liked.
Taki is trying to out turn the Albatros but takes more damage in the process.
Before getting on its tail and returning the compliment in Spades.
He was a tricky beggar though and was soon back returning fire.
It almost looked as if Taki was going to make a run for home, his plane looked like a colander full of holes and with strips of canvas flapping around in the wind.
Sometimes you just get mad, stark staring mad and I was mad. I’d flown round in circles for ages, drifted over Hunland, been shot at, crashed into – TWICE and now I was mad. I shouted to Nurse S to get a fresh pan in the Lewis, we’re going Hun hunting.
She just grinned.
I’ve never flown the Fee with the Strange Mount before and as we flew straight at the Hun my shots went wide of the mark, to be honest I appear to be useless with the pole gun, flying in a straight line takes most of my concentration.
However Nurse S was no slouch and her bullets were hitting him then he burst into flames, that’s two flamers to her, is that just beginners luck?
His return fire though was pretty accurate and I could feel poor old V for Vagabond shudder with each hit we took but we came through it, - just.
The damndest thing then happened, Nurse S turned in her seat, stood on the cockpit combing, taking the Lewis gun out of my hand, spun it round and fired into the retreating Albatros. I was too busy trying to recover control of the Fee and shouting for her to get down into her seat, to see where the bullets went but it was one of the boldest things I’d ever seen, and I’ve seen a few.
OK enough's enough – we had clear air in front of us - let’s make a run and go home.
That’s when I saw Taki had turned and was flying back to help. Oh Bugger.
As before I could only make a slow turn what with the damaged tail and the duff engine but I wasn’t going to leave Taki behind. The blasted Hun had Immelled again and was soon on my tail.
On reflection that was a pretty bold and very straight move for a plane that was burning like a bonfire but hey ho. Maybe it was already planned!
The pilot was now ducking and weaving all over the sky but he was a deadly shot and Taki’s plane took so much more damage that it went down. In a long slow glide, he hit the ground and broke the undercart but stayed upright and didn’t catch fire, a perfect landing under the circumstances.
To my great relief he was out of the Nieuport in a jiffy, waved to us and set off across the fields in the direction of Biff’s crashed wreck.
We had a score to settle and slowly I brought the Fee round to face the Albatros who’d banked round in a long turn this time, probably because the fire was obscuring his vision and he didn’t want to be toasted.
Head to head we roared towards each other, yet again Nurse S was spot on target and I could see she hit the pilot but this time I had a better grasp of the Strange Mounted Lewis and contributed more than my fair share of damage to the enemy and smiled when he went into an uncontrolled spin towards the ground.
There wasn’t much fuel in the tank when we landed but we got back safely. Nurse Schultz said she hadn’t enjoyed herself as much since she spilled the bed pan over Colonel Slattery-Jones, the Slattery-Jones of the wandering hands Jones branch of the family and she hoped we could do it again sometime.
Victory points:
Tandem Returning 6pts
1 German Plane SD 4pts
2 German FRTB 4pts
Total 14
2 British Planes SD 8pts
1 British Plane FRTB 2 pts
Total 10
Bulldog victory !
Well Mr Teaticket that’s another disastrous game you got me into, but in the end a most enjoyable one. Having read 3 of the other games I can see why 2 of them left the poor tandem to their own devices and Baz had an uncontrolled crash into it.
Initially I was flying Berry and had decided that he would save my life and we could make up and get on with the war. Of course with my inept flying I went head on into the Fee and so now we are at logger heads again, or maybe worse. I then started flying as Taki and it was a painstaking job to get behind the Fee and stay there. As I expected, we became the prime target for every stray Hun in the sky.
So Nurse Schultz and I made it back home but we left 2 pilots down behind enemy lines, at least only one of them was wounded this time.
Dave if you like you can credit Nurse Schultz with the kill, I’m on sick leave so took advantage of the scenario to replace 2 un-named flyers with 2 that shouldn’t be there, Schultz flew as if wounded, ie short range shooting and I did no Immelmann’s etc.
I would recommend Taki for a gallantry medal but that would mean admitting I was flying against the orders of the MO and taking a civilian up in the air etc etc, If Uncle or the CO find out I’ll probably get RTU so please keep it under your hat and we’ll ignore the kill, unless you want to give it to Taki he deserves it.
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