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Thread: Now who's got the Aspidistra?

  1. #1

    Default Now who's got the Aspidistra?

    Ok chaps the bally Hun has gone and thrown the towel in. The Yanks have just broadcast that the war is over!

    Postie arrived today with a bag of mail that had got lost for some time (months).

    Got me annual membership medal for 5 years at the front (11 months late!). And a couple of other gongs.

    But more importantly where's the bloody Aspidistra? Ought to be here for the celebrations, what?

    And is Hedeby going to give that damn horse back to the Artillery, you know the long range snipers, so we can get the WingCo's office (shed) back?

    And we also need to invite the Bally Hun over for a shindig (they have our working gramophone!) so we can play the last batch of records.

    We also need a volunteer or volunteers to head off into town for some liquid refreshments, bread and cucumber.....oh and a cake, got to have a cake.

    Now where was I.............................Oh yes PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Not necessarily in that order though.
    See you on the Dark Side......

  2. #2

    Smile

    Quote Originally Posted by Skafloc View Post
    Ok chaps the bally Hun has gone and thrown the towel in. The Yanks have just broadcast that the war is over!

    Postie arrived today with a bag of mail that had got lost for some time (months).

    Got me annual membership medal for 5 years at the front (11 months late!). And a couple of other gongs.

    But more importantly where's the bloody Aspidistra? Ought to be here for the celebrations, what?

    And is Hedeby going to give that damn horse back to the Artillery, you know the long range snipers, so we can get the WingCo's office (shed) back?

    And we also need to invite the Bally Hun over for a shindig (they have our working gramophone!) so we can play the last batch of records.

    We also need a volunteer or volunteers to head off into town for some liquid refreshments, bread and cucumber.....oh and a cake, got to have a cake.

    Now where was I.............................Oh yes PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Not necessarily in that order though.
    Neil! Have you been into the Winco's G & T stock again?

    "Its a fine line indeed between going out in a Blaze of Glory or having Crashed & Burnt!"
    Member Australian Society of WW1 Aero Historians

  3. #3

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    Whoo whoo whoo..... we gave the gramophone back already. Airdropped it a year ago. Look in the back forty; Phillip doesn't always drop so well

    We do still have your football, though. That was a right brawling kick you did, Neil.

    Karl
    Last edited by Jager; 11-09-2018 at 13:09. Reason: sp
    It is impossible for a man to begin to learn what he thinks he knows. -- Epictetus

  4. #4

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    I believe that I noticed the Aspidistra in the corner of the Wingco's office last time I was in there for a promotion; or was it a dressing down. Bit difficult to remember with all this celebratory booze on board.
    Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm. Winston S. Churchill

  5. #5

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    I've got the Aspidistra!

    I took it into my hut for a good polishing after that last round of "High Cockalorum" with that Yank squadron got a bit tasty!

    Forgot to bring her back to the Mess (too many patrols/Brandies!).

    Will return ASAP.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by Flying Helmut View Post
    I've got the Aspidistra!

    I took it into my hut for a good polishing after that last round of "High Cockalorum" with that Yank squadron got a bit tasty!

    Forgot to bring her back to the Mess (too many patrols/Brandies!).

    Will return ASAP.
    Will you be changing your nick name to "Aspidistra Kidnapper" then!
    Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm. Winston S. Churchill

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rebel View Post
    Will you be changing your nick name to "Aspidistra Kidnapper" then!
    Only if ordered!

    Neil asked me to take care of her during his last furlough from the M.O. - I just got used to having her around...............

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jager View Post
    Whoo whoo whoo..... we gave the gramophone back already. Airdropped it a year ago. Look in the back forty; Phillip doesn't always drop so well

    We do still have your football, though. That was a right bwarling kick you did, Neil.

    Karl


    i beg to differ sir!!! while lateral adjustment may be a little vague from time to time, ive never once failed to hit the ground!!!

  9. #9

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    Y’all got a translation for this here Southerner?! I ain’t understandin’ half what y’all said...

  10. #10

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    How could we loose this war...
    Voilà le soleil d'Austerlitz!

  11. #11

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    Quote Originally Posted by BwanaJoe View Post
    Y’all got a translation for this here Southerner?! I ain’t understandin’ half what y’all said...
    That's because he's a rough-hewed Northerner; ask a Midlander for a half way there translate.

    Karl
    It is impossible for a man to begin to learn what he thinks he knows. -- Epictetus

  12. #12

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Marechallannes View Post
    How could we loose this war...
    We haven't yet The war goes on while the 'Drome still stands!

    Oh, and BTW: congrats on the finally arrived gongs Neil!
    Karl
    It is impossible for a man to begin to learn what he thinks he knows. -- Epictetus

  13. #13

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    Quote Originally Posted by BwanaJoe View Post
    Y’all got a translation for this here Southerner?! I ain’t understandin’ half what y’all said...
    Sorry Lieutenant, in order to get the back story on our banter you would have to read several years back AARs and the private letters of Nigel. Or you could just ask Joanna behind the bar.
    Meanwhile I will now be having a quiet word in my non existent office to several of my senior Squadron Officers about my Gramophone and the Aspidistra. Also my damned bike has gone missing again.
    As far as the Germans are concerned they are welcome to drop in to the Mess on the 11th to join us in our last sods opera, as long as they don't bring that infernal football back. I'm still trying to get the Ops room window mended from the last game we played against Nigel Bouncer Smythe's squadron.
    Kyte.
    "Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death."

  14. #14

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jager View Post
    That's because he's a rough-hewed Northerner; ask a Midlander for a half way there translate.

    Karl
    Ahhhhh, much like our own Midwesterners. Never could understand them damn Yankees without a translator!

  15. #15

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    Well thank you kindly Colonel sir. I don't think I'll be bothering that nice young miss behind the bar except for a tall, very cold, beer. And I don't know why I'd be poking into this here Nigel's private letters. Seems a bit dastardly and down right un-neighborly!

    Sorry about your gramophone going missing but if you stop by the 'Merican squardron O'Club we will be sure put something on the Edison Army-Navy for 'ya.

    But I still can't figure why on God's green earth someone would steal your plant and then polish it?! I swear I just don't understand you Brit boys one bit!


    Quote Originally Posted by Flying Officer Kyte View Post
    Sorry Lieutenant, in order to get the back story on our banter you would have to read several years back AARs and the private letters of Nigel. Or you could just ask Joanna behind the bar.
    Meanwhile I will now be having a quiet word in my non existent office to several of my senior Squadron Officers about my Gramophone and the Aspidistra. Also my damned bike has gone missing again.
    As far as the Germans are concerned they are welcome to drop in to the Mess on the 11th to join us in our last sods opera, as long as they don't bring that infernal football back. I'm still trying to get the Ops room window mended from the last game we played against Nigel Bouncer Smythe's squadron.
    Kyte.

  16. #16

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    Time to bring in the horticulturalists Joe. As I understand it if you want an Aspidistra to thrive you have to regularly polish its leaves with milk, or so Mrs K said before we left Blighty on this endless war.
    Bye the way I am a Midlander!
    Kyte.
    "Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death."

  17. #17

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    Since its an Asian plant would that be yak milk? Seems like a lot of trouble. Perhaps a fern would be better?

    Quote Originally Posted by Flying Officer Kyte View Post
    Time to bring in the horticulturalists Joe. As I understand it if you want an Aspidistra to thrive you have to regularly polish its leaves with milk, or so Mrs K said before we left Blighty on this endless war.
    Bye the way I am a Midlander!
    Kyte.

  18. #18

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    Quote Originally Posted by BwanaJoe View Post
    Since its an Asian plant would that be yak milk? Seems like a lot of trouble. Perhaps a fern would be better?
    A fern would never survive in their mess
    Karl
    It is impossible for a man to begin to learn what he thinks he knows. -- Epictetus

  19. #19

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    Quote Originally Posted by milcoll73 View Post
    i beg to differ sir!!! while lateral adjustment may be a little vague from time to time, ive never once failed to hit the ground!!!
    The problem, Mein Herr, is that you sometimes (often) hit our ground not their's

    Karl
    It is impossible for a man to begin to learn what he thinks he knows. -- Epictetus

  20. #20

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    Well knock me down with a feather, forgot you took on the Aspidistra whilst I was hors de combat FH. Glad you have looked after it well. Perhaps We could have her back in the usual place next to the bar, please?

    The Gunners footie team want their ball back from the Hun, they don't want the horse back, but if we want the shed they say they want their ball...it's kind of special like being signed by the England team in 1914 after their 2-0 victory over Wales at Cardiff (The Gunners band played at half time)! Otherwise the shed is going on a bonfire on Sunday. (Sorry WingCo).

    Tonight's game in the mess is Rugby, boots optional. A & B flights v C & D flights. The Padre has offered to Referee.

    I didn't know Cpl Harrison, the mess barman, was called Joanne.
    See you on the Dark Side......

  21. #21

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    Joanne was the girl helping out behind the bar at Bentangles Colonel.

    She left in a huff after on of the Flight Lts. was overheard to say he would not mind tickling the ivories on the old Joanna.

    Kyte.
    "Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death."

  22. #22

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    Default

    Good luck getting the ball back chaps!
    Last I heard, some dastard from the colonies picked it & started running with it...

  23. #23

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    Quote Originally Posted by Flying Officer Kyte View Post
    Joanne was the girl helping out behind the bar at Bentangles Colonel.

    She left in a huff after on of the Flight Lts. was overheard to say he would not mind tickling the ivories on the old Joanna.

    Kyte.
    Come, come, (Whoops!) Gentlemen, this conversation is surely beneath us! Now you have to ask yourself," is this applause or merely a condition?"
    Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm. Winston S. Churchill

  24. #24

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    The thing was Reg, that this all started when one of our pilots from America, misunderstood that a Joanna was colloquial for a piano forte, and rather than enlighten him some wag said that it was the name of the girl behind the bar.
    Thus legends are started.
    Once again, however, I must point you in the direction of our original AARs and the letters of Nigel. You can then find out all about how the bulldog squadron came about, the Eagles and even the Waspen squadron. Also L' hotel Rouge Lantern, how Kyte struck up a friendship with Captain Richard "sticky" Triggers of the Heart of Oak Squadron, and much much more in the annals of our much esteemed Squadron.

    However, you will not discover what the F.O. in Kyte's name is.

    F. O. Kyte.
    "Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death."

  25. #25

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    Now threshold a starter for 10 Wingco.

    All ideas about what the F and O stand for....please post here.
    See you on the Dark Side......

  26. #26

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    Quote Originally Posted by Skafloc View Post
    Now threshold a starter for 10 Wingco.

    All ideas about what the F and O stand for....please post here.
    Flame On ! of course

    "He is wise who watches"

  27. #27

    Default

    Just like Inspector Morse, you will never break the code.
    Kyte.
    "Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death."

  28. #28

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    Quote Originally Posted by Flying Officer Kyte View Post
    However, you will not discover what the F.O. in Kyte's name is.

    F. O. Kyte.
    I always assumed it was Flying Officer.
    Maybe Frying Officer?

    Karl
    It is impossible for a man to begin to learn what he thinks he knows. -- Epictetus

  29. #29

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Skafloc View Post
    The Gunners footie team want their ball back from the Hun, they don't want the horse back, but if we want the shed they say they want their ball...it's kind of special like being signed by the England team in 1914 after their 2-0 victory over Wales at Cardiff (The Gunners band played at half time)! Otherwise the shed is going on a bonfire on Sunday. (Sorry WingCo).
    Well we could drop it off tonight; got a raid planned on that new supply depot 30 miles behind your field.
    Have a blue searchlight on at your field, so we have a waypoint....er aiming point to drop the ball.
    (I'll make sure Sven or Andrzej do the dropping; much better chance you'll find it )
    Karl
    It is impossible for a man to begin to learn what he thinks he knows. -- Epictetus

  30. #30

    Default

    That was where it originated Karl, but when he became the Co. of the Bulldogs I had to come up with a set of first names for him so he became F.O. Kyte, and nobody ever questioned it.
    Rob.
    "Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death."

  31. #31

    Default

    Ah Grasshopper, Flame On, Flame Off, Flame On, Flame Off.

    Quote Originally Posted by flash View Post
    Flame On ! of course
    See you on the Dark Side......

  32. #32

    Default

    OK, the Padre has given me some good news:

    Lt Waters (Muddy to his mates) has not got a broken nose the Padre says he has always looked like that!
    2Lt Moody (Mad Dog) does have a broken nose, and ribs, and concussion so someone will have to fly his dawn patrol tomorrow! So whomever threw the poor lad out of the window (upstairs I might add) thinking he could fly, must be barking mad and can own up and do the patrol.

    The Gunners down the road are not too happy either. Some cretin managed to sneak into the stores and stole all the lanyards, you know those ropey thingy's they pull the trigger with on them big pointy things on wheels. So they want them back, they also stated that it was someone riding a horse no prizes for guessing who that could be!

    We've had a communique (that's French for a posh message) from the Hun across the way. They are offering to bring the ball back in good faith only we have to promise not to shoot them down! We'll have to put that to a vote after dinner.

    Now FH brought the Aspidistra back but yet again someone has mistook the plant pot for another kind of pot! It needs proper watering one a day not a proper watering, ok!

    Once we get the ball back, the Gunners say we can have the WingCo's potting shed, I mean office, back but they''' keep the door, and window until the lanyards are returned.

    Oh and the mess manager has promised apple pie and custard for pudding after evening meal.

    PS: As the rugby match was a draw, don't have a go at me, have a go at the Padre! A rematch has been arranged for Sunday 11am where the good old croquet set will get it's final outing before we push off for home. Same teams as before, and no horses Sq Ldr Hedeby!
    See you on the Dark Side......

  33. #33

    Default

    Francisco Brave Irish

    Osborn Soldier of God Old English

    Quote Originally Posted by Flying Officer Kyte View Post
    That was where it originated Karl, but when he became the Co. of the Bulldogs I had to come up with a set of first names for him so he became F.O. Kyte, and nobody ever questioned it.
    Rob.
    See you on the Dark Side......

  34. #34

    Default

    Flavius Odysseus

    or perhaps

    Fryingus O'Paneus

    or maybe

    Frabjus Oleander

    or, then again,

    Finchley Omnibus...

    the mind ranges far afield on this challenge


    All the best,
    Matt

  35. #35

    Default

    Keep trying chaps, At the Armistice I will give a prize for the person who gets nearest to the truth.
    Kyte.
    "Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death."

  36. #36

  37. #37

  38. #38

    Thumbs up

    Fredrico Orville

    Ferdinand Olyphant

    Findlay Osbourne

    Oh we could go on forever!

    "Its a fine line indeed between going out in a Blaze of Glory or having Crashed & Burnt!"
    Member Australian Society of WW1 Aero Historians

  39. #39

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    No we could not Baz, only until 11 am tomorrow GMT.

    Actually someone has been in the right ballpark already.

    Kyte.
    "Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death."

  40. #40

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jager View Post
    The problem, Mein Herr, is that you sometimes (often) hit our ground not their's

    Karl



    details, details. one, or five little mishaps and suddenly everybodys a perfectionist.

  41. #41

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Flying Officer Kyte View Post
    No we could not Baz, only until 11 am tomorrow GMT.

    Actually someone has been in the right ballpark already.

    Kyte.
    Football Stadium? Ballpark....is that a colonial term?
    See you on the Dark Side......

  42. #42

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Marechallannes View Post
    How could we loose this war...
    The winner was clearly offside..

    Good job it didn't go to penalties we would have lost for certain

    Never knowingly under gunned !

  43. #43

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    Wait....wait....I've got it.... Faithful Overlord !

  44. #44

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    Re match Sunday, your favourite....croquet with no horses.

    Quote Originally Posted by Hedeby View Post
    The winner was clearly offside..

    Good job it didn't go to penalties we would have lost for certain
    See you on the Dark Side......

  45. #45

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Skafloc View Post
    Re match Sunday, your favourite....croquet with no horses.
    Infantry Polo?? What an absurd idea
    It is impossible for a man to begin to learn what he thinks he knows. -- Epictetus

  46. #46

    Smile

    Quote Originally Posted by Skafloc View Post
    Football Stadium? Ballpark....is that a colonial term?
    Actually old chap I do not think those American Chaps like to be called "Colonial" any more plus they think they invented that Baseball game as well!

    "Its a fine line indeed between going out in a Blaze of Glory or having Crashed & Burnt!"
    Member Australian Society of WW1 Aero Historians

  47. #47

    Smile Remember that Test Match????

    All this talk of Sport & Colonials made me think of that Test match Rob that was played all those years ago now between a Colonial XI & your British Team.
    What fun that was!

    "Its a fine line indeed between going out in a Blaze of Glory or having Crashed & Burnt!"
    Member Australian Society of WW1 Aero Historians

  48. #48

    Default

    Sorry Baz, I really don't recall it at all.
    Kyte.
    "Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death."

  49. #49

    Smile

    Quote Originally Posted by Flying Officer Kyte View Post
    Sorry Baz, I really don't recall it at all.
    Kyte.
    You & I picked a team with names & abilities & you actually worked out the result.
    Must be 3 or more years ago.
    I probably remember it so well as you said the Colonials WON!

    "Its a fine line indeed between going out in a Blaze of Glory or having Crashed & Burnt!"
    Member Australian Society of WW1 Aero Historians

  50. #50

    Default

    Rounders is more civilised and eloquent Baz.

    Quote Originally Posted by gully_raker View Post
    Actually old chap I do not think those American Chaps like to be called "Colonial" any more plus they think they invented that Baseball game as well!
    See you on the Dark Side......

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