If WWI was a bar fight

[gully_raker]

Never mind who won what (we all have our different versions of history) back to the original post I thought it was a good explanation and it made me laugh

I'll second that Doug!
Great piece of comedy! I wasnt around when it was first posted so I really appreciated it.

[Flying Officer Kyte]

I also enjoyed seeing it again.
Thanks Simon.
Rob.

[bumblie3]

Never mind who won what (we all have our different versions of history) back to the original post I thought it was a good explanation and it made me laugh

I'm with you there Doug, it was very funny.

[Guntruck]

Here's one for the second bar fight:

If World War Two was a bar fight


• After the last bar fight, America decides that he needs to be the bartender and the bouncer and moves behind the bar.
• Germany comes to and sees everyone drinking with his money and sees Austria sitting in the corner by himself.
• Germany, angry that Britain, France, and America took his wallet grabs Austria and makes him stand next to him.
• Germany then does the same to Czechoslovakia.
• On the other side of the room, Japan punches China. After a while, America tells them to knock it off.
• Germany signs a bar napkin telling Britain that he is done moving people over to his side of the room.
• Germany sucker punches Poland, claiming that Poland started it.
• Russia says he will help and ends up punching Poland from the other side.
• France and Britain begin swinging at Germany. Germany pushes Britain through the door and knocks him into the pool. France is also shoved through the door, but comes back in wearing a new beret and decides to hang out with Germany.
• For no apparent reason, Russia slaps Finland.
• Italy gets into a fight over the toys in the sandbox out back, gets a bloody nose and cries to Germany for help.
• Germany and Britain get into a tug of war over Italy’s sandbox.
• Britain and Germany begin throwing rocks at each others’ houses.
• Because Russia helped him with beating up Poland, Germany sucker punches Russia.
• While everybody is looking at Germany and Britain, Japan puts China into a headlock and begins punching his head.
• America tells Japan to knock it off and tells him he’s had too much to drink and he’s cut off.
• Japan jumps over the bar and punches America. And Britain. And France. And the Netherlands.
• Germany shakes his fist at America and makes a rude noise.
• America jumps into Germany’s sandbox and falls flat on his ass. Italy laughs at him.
• Because America is mad at Germany, America punches Italy.
• America, Canada, and Britain rip off France’s new beret and punch Germany.
• America, Britain and Australia gang up and start shoving Japan back into a corner on the other side of the room.
• Germany taps America on the shoulder and says, “What’s that over there in the snow?” Then he kicks America in the behind when he’s not looking.
• Everyone piles on Germany until he passes out.
• America hits Japan in the face with a baseball bat like Capone did in “The Untouchables”. Twice.
• As Japan is on his way to the floor, Russia shakes his fist at Japan, pretending that he’s joined the fight and hoping that he’ll be able to go through Japan’s wallet after the fight’s over.
• After Japan and Germany wake up, America, France, Britain, and Russia move into Germany’s House. America moves into Japan’s house, too.
• America buys drinks for Germany and Japan until everyone is happy again.

[petitbilbo]

Absolutely excellent!!!
Big laugh!

[bumblie3]

Here's one for the second bar fight:

If World War Two was a bar fight


• After the last bar fight, America decides that he needs to be the bartender and the bouncer and moves behind the bar.
• Germany comes to and sees everyone drinking with his money and sees Austria sitting in the corner by himself.
• Germany, angry that Britain, France, and America took his wallet grabs Austria and makes him stand next to him.
• Germany then does the same to Czechoslovakia.
• On the other side of the room, Japan punches China. After a while, America tells them to knock it off.
• Germany signs a bar napkin telling Britain that he is done moving people over to his side of the room.
• Germany sucker punches Poland, claiming that Poland started it.
• Russia says he will help and ends up punching Poland from the other side.
• France and Britain begin swinging at Germany. Germany pushes Britain through the door and knocks him into the pool. France is also shoved through the door, but comes back in wearing a new beret and decides to hang out with Germany.
• For no apparent reason, Russia slaps Finland.
• Italy gets into a fight over the toys in the sandbox out back, gets a bloody nose and cries to Germany for help.
• Germany and Britain get into a tug of war over Italy’s sandbox.
• Britain and Germany begin throwing rocks at each others’ houses.
• Because Russia helped him with beating up Poland, Germany sucker punches Russia.
• While everybody is looking at Germany and Britain, Japan puts China into a headlock and begins punching his head.
• America tells Japan to knock it off and tells him he’s had too much to drink and he’s cut off.
• Japan jumps over the bar and punches America. And Britain. And France. And the Netherlands.
• Germany shakes his fist at America and makes a rude noise.
• America jumps into Germany’s sandbox and falls flat on his ass. Italy laughs at him.
• Because America is mad at Germany, America punches Italy.
• America, Canada, and Britain rip off France’s new beret and punch Germany.
• America, Britain and Australia gang up and start shoving Japan back into a corner on the other side of the room.
• Germany taps America on the shoulder and says, “What’s that over there in the snow?” Then he kicks America in the behind when he’s not looking.
• Everyone piles on Germany until he passes out.
• America hits Japan in the face with a baseball bat like Capone did in “The Untouchables”. Twice.
• As Japan is on his way to the floor, Russia shakes his fist at Japan, pretending that he’s joined the fight and hoping that he’ll be able to go through Japan’s wallet after the fight’s over.
• After Japan and Germany wake up, America, France, Britain, and Russia move into Germany’s House. America moves into Japan’s house, too.
• America buys drinks for Germany and Japan until everyone is happy again.

Brilliant, Guntruck. And to think Bar Brawl 1 was the Bar brawl to end all Bar Brawls....

[Linz]

If Britian had lost the Battle of Britian then they would have been invaded and lost then the USA wouldn't have entered the War
So it was a Kiwi who won WW2 Sir Keith Park.

Ps love the Bar Fight.

[Carl_Brisgamer]

Never mind who won what (we all have our different versions of history) back to the original post I thought it was a good explanation and it made me laugh

After ANZAC Day this year I explained the origins of the First World War to my 10 year old lad. I wish I had seen this post before then!

We need to add another line about the Australian Corps at Amiens in 1918 -

"Using some fancy footwork Germany lands a couple of good punches on Britain and France, who stumble back stunned. Then the Australian steps in and takes the best combination Germany can land. He spits out a tooth and says "If that's all ya got left Fritz, then youse are in for a floggin'."

[Boney10]

After ANZAC Day this year I explained the origins of the First World War to my 10 year old lad. I wish I had seen this post before then!

We need to add another line about the Australian Corps at Amiens in 1918 -

"Using some fancy footwork Germany lands a couple of good punches on Britain and France, who stumble back stunned. Then the Australian steps in and takes the best combination Germany can land. He spits out a tooth and says "If that's all ya got left Fritz, then youse are in for a floggin'."

Sorry should that not be ... Germany pulls a knife and Australia steps forwards and says " You call that a knife ? This ! is a knife" and brandishes what the Brits would call a sabre

[john snelling]

Loved the post. But I believe you missed the part when Italy used his face to hit Austria fist numerous times it must of hurt because Austria used his face to hit Italy's fist also.

[gully_raker]

I like British History that conviently forgets we supplied you long before we entered the fight in both wars, thus ensuring you were around to tell us we played little to no part.

The first world war was a virtual stalemate when we entered. It could just as easily have gone the other way had we come in on Germany's side.

Still, it was ammusing none the less.

I do not want to do any American "Bashing" here because Britain or Australia will not forget the valuable contribution of American Goods etc that helped most in WW2 but dont forget that it was not given Free. It was Paid for & the Lend Lease programme left England almost Bankrupt after WW2. American Industrialists made a fortune out of aid to Britain in both Wars. America spent probably Billions on rebuilding Germany & Japan but Britain had to do it on her own.

[gully_raker]

Great Stuff, Guntruck. Well done!

[Ed2]

I think most people conveniently forget that England and France did not fully honor their commitment to Poland. Russia did invade Poland a couple of weeks after Germany. Many thousands of Poles died fighting for the French and British thinking that they would ensure a free Poland at the end of the war. Yah right. The shame is also on the U.S.

[Old Navy]

The History Channel are interested in buying the rights, as they can get loads of product placements in to the show during all the bar scenes.

Only if they can change it to reflect their change in venue.
In other words, the bar is in the middle of a swamp and all the countries are portrayed by toothless rednecks.