The Pilot's Psalm

[Fahnenjunker]

I just finished reading "No Parachute" by Arthur Gould Lee, a pilot that flew Sopwith Pups, and later, Sopwith Camels with 46 Squadron, RFC in 1917. In a letter home to his wife he included The Pilot's Psalm, a parody of the the 23rd Psalm.

The B.E.2c is my bus; therefore I shall want.
He maketh me come down in green pastures.
He leadeth me where I wish not to go.
He maketh me sick: he leadeth me astray on all cross-country flights.
Yea, though I fly o'er No-man's Land where mine enemies would compass me about, I fear much evil, for thou art with me: thy joystick and thy prop discomfort me.
Thou prepareth a crash for me in the presence of mine enemies; thy R.A.F. annointeth my hair with oil, thy tank leaketh badly.
Surely to goodness thou shalt not follow me all the days of my life, else I shall dwell in the House of Colney Hatch for ever.

(R.A.F. means Royal Aircraft Factory engine. Colney Hatch, now the London Borough of Barnet, was the site of a lunatic asylum from 1851 to 1993.)

Another bit of humour that kept the pilots' spirits up. :D

Cheers.

[Attila57]

Great! :D:D:D

Attilio

[HardRock]

Pilots with wit, always a good read.

Thanks,
Henry

[Oberst Hajj]

That's a pretty good one!

[Flying Officer Kyte]

Very good. I hope this will lead us to more gems like this.
Rob.

[HardRock]

I remember a story about RAAF Meteor pilots in Korea changing the words to "All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth" to "All I want for Christmas are my wings swept back".

Henry

[Flying Officer Kyte]

:D Here is a tongue twister for you chaps. Only to be attempted after a night in the mess.

Heavy handed Hans.

Heavy handed Hans flies Halberstadters.
In handy Halberstadters for a flight our Hans does start.
His Oberst says"Oh dash it!
I fear that he will crash it".
See how Heavy handed Hans ham handles handy Halberstadts.

Rob.

[Guntruck]

This one comes from Raymond Collishaw's book "Black Flight" and apparently originated in Naval 3 Squadron:

I left the mess room early
Before the break of dawn,
And greatly to my horror
The weather promised fine.
I strolled out to the hangar,
Those regions to explore,
And found my bus already
Outside the hangar door.

Outside the hangar door, my boys,
Outside the hangar door.
I found my bus already
Outside the hangar door.

I thought I'd try the engine
To see what it would do,
The counter showed 850 revs -
The cylinders were blue.
The damned thing missed 850 times,
Which made me hold my breath
As I crashed into the atmosphere
To juggle there with death.

To juggle there with death, my boys,
To juggle there with death.
As I crashed into the atmosphere
To juggle there with death.

At last we reached 4,000 feet
And met the old F.E.'s.
The morning air was bitter cold,
Which made my fingers freeze.
At 10,000 feet we crossed the lines
Quite close to old Bapaume,
And as I saw the Archie bursts
I thought of home sweet home.

I thought of home sweet home, my boys,
I thought of home sweet home.
And as I saw the Archie bursts
I thought of home sweet home.

The F.E.'s they went eastward,
Close followed by the Pup.
By the time that we reached Cambrai
I had the wind right up.
And then we turned around for home
But all to no avail.
For there were twenty Halberstadts
A sitting on my tail!

A sitting on my tail, my boys,
A sitting on my tail!
For there were twenty Halberstadts
A sitting on my tail!

I went split arse for glory,
Those bastards to avoid,
And when they saw such caperings
Those Huns were overjoyed.
They emptied fifty pans or more
Right at my ruddy head.
They fired high explosives
And a ton or two of lead!

A ton or two of lead, my boys,
A ton or two of lead.
They fired high explosives
And a ton or two of lead!

Now we're all back across the lines
And free at will to roam.
We all are tickled up the back
But cannot find our home.
We land all over Western France,
Men everywhere they send,
To work all through the ruddy night
And dream of make and mend.

And dream of make and mend, my boys,
And dream of make and mend.
To work all through the ruddy night
And dream of make and mend.

Now we're back at home once more
And feeling gay and bright.
We'll take a car to Amiens,
Have dinner there tonight.
We'll stroll along the boulevards
And meet the girls of France.
To hell with the army medicals -
We'll take a bloody chance!

We'll take a bloody chance, my boys,
We'll take a bloody chance.
To hell with the army medicals -
We'll take a bloody chance!

[Coog]

Dark humored drinking song sung by pilots:

The Young Aviator

The young aviator went stunting,
and as 'neath the wreckage he lay,
to the mechanics assembled around him,
these last parting words he did say...

(chorus)
Take the cylinders out of my kidneys,
take the connecting rod out of my brain,
from the small of my back take the crankshaft,
and assemble the engine again!