Combat report: back to the basics

groblnjar · 12-01-2010 16:53

I'm so glad to report my ... DESASTER!

You know the man: two missions, two crosses. I'm the best and I'm fighting against the president of our club (already beaten).

My Fokker is ready and my brain is a sun in a dark universe; how can I loose?

Oh! Just to clarify... the president is a professional pilot, but I grew up with milk, corn flakes and combat flight simulator.

After the first five turns I begin to understand that, after his loss, the president has trained hardly. No problem, my present for him are three damage cards in a turn. He gives me a card, my first card... a 5. Who cares? Me, after the second card that is a 4... Ok I've taken for a question of millimeters; the president was not sure that he could shoot but... you know... good actions bring you to heaven...

But I trust in myself, other two damages (he cannot have taken five 0s!) just for fun and I fly away only to prepare my last attack. I've seen his moves, he doesn't turn right... Oh! What a pity! I'm sooo sure (and I forgot that bad thoughts bring you to hell) and, after my past with go-karts I know the meaning of the word "limit". Near the right limit of the table? No problem, 90° right turn, 90° right turn and a sweet right turn in order to be back in action. Where is the problem? I play 90° right turn card, then 90° right turn card and...

...

...

left turn.

Out of the table.

The president with his Camel had 13 damage points.

There is somebody that can teach me the right and the left? Pleeaaase.

**The Cowman** · 12-01-2010 17:29

Take a big fat Sharpie Marker and write a huge R on the back of your Right hand... and a huge L on the back of your left hand...

We have all been there... it happens to the best pilots!

**Goering Ace** · 12-01-2010 17:56

Oh man!! That's a tough pill to swallow.

**Flying Officer Kyte** · 12-02-2010 02:04

I've done it too often. Check, always check. I think it is something to do with putting the cards you are going to play face down when you place them on the control pad. Something in your brain reverses the direction in your mind before your next card. I now select all cards and compare them together before putting them on the pad. That only leaves the mistake of being in the wrong order. Yes that has happened too.

Not so bad as when you are giving orders to a bunch of soldiers on the parade ground and you get it wrong

I've done that too, but not as bad as the officer changing guard at Edinburgh Castle who gave a right turn when he meant left. Both guards did what he should have said and not what he ordered. I would not have even noticed if we had not happened to be going in when the guard was changed the hour or so before.
Rob.

**Lucky Bryan** · 12-02-2010 02:48

I just think you had rudder damage and could not do the manoeuvre you had really planned....

Lucky.

**flash** · 12-02-2010 15:03

Been there, done that ! Welcome to the club Simon.

**RonaldRS** · 12-03-2010 08:08

rember you are plaing the card's as if you are sitting in the plane!

**MayorJim** · 12-03-2010 14:15

Argh! I too, feel your pain...have flown off the edge of the world a few times myself...I guess Columbus was wrong...the world really is flat

**Charlie3** · 12-03-2010 15:44

NEW RULE TO BE INSTATED IMMEDIATLY!!
If you exit the table your plane instantly re-enters the table on the opposite side just like in the old 1970's computer and arcade games like Asteroids

**MayorJim** · 12-03-2010 17:58

Too funny! ...but then that would mean the world is round not flat...hmmm.

**Flying Officer Kyte** · 12-04-2010 00:40

Originally Posted by MayorJim

Too funny! ...but then that would mean the world is round not flat...hmmm.

I nearly spilt my beer all over the keyboard when I read this one.

Rob.

**AlgyLacey** · 12-04-2010 13:17

Originally Posted by Flying Officer Kyte

Not so bad as when you are giving orders to a bunch of soldiers on the parade ground and you get it wrong

I've done that too,

Been there, done that, got the .....good hiding afterwards

We once had a CSM who (after an eyes Right), gave an Eyes RIGHT instead of an Eyes FRONT.

I practically unscrewed my head.

And then there was his famous Remembrance Day "Company.....STOP!"

groblnjar · 12-05-2010 17:11

Originally Posted by AlgyLacey

Been there, done that, got the .....good hiding afterwards

We once had a CSM who (after an eyes Right), gave an Eyes RIGHT instead of an Eyes FRONT.

I practically unscrewed my head.

And then there was his famous Remembrance Day "Company.....STOP!"

**Hamburger** · 12-14-2010 18:37

There's nothing wrong with having big R's and L's on your hands in sharpie...

... where is my sharpie?.....

.... Don't need it for anything....

... at all....

... begins whistling....