What a cool photo, Daniel! Where was it taken?
"We do not stop playing when we get old, but we get old when we stop playing."
Steve
He appears to have had too many stiff ones!
Rich
In Aviation Museum in Bodř, last year. The polar men looks little like Slávek (JasunaKozono)
PS: It is De Havilland Canada DHC-3 Otter.
Here is the detail
BEST WISHES TO EVERYONE, JOHN.
You too John - good to see you in the circuit again
"He is wise who watches"
Yes, nice to see my old thread resurrected, even though a Penguin is for life and not just Christmas.
Rob.
"Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death."
Run for your life - there are stupid people everywhere!
A man rushes into a bar. He shouts "Does anyone here own a giant penguin?"
He hears a chorus of "No", then shouts, "Oh, s*** -- I just ran over a nun!"
John
Warmest wishes for this holiday season!
Rich
My late grandpa loved jokes and was very good at telling them. I'll try to recreate one as I recall it.
(Note: While this and the next joke may not feature penguins specifically, they are technically about "birds". )
The Magician and His Parrot
One day an up-and-coming magician was asked to give a performance aboard a cruise-ship in the Mediterranean. When he received this invitation he was very excited because he had never had such a big offer before. So he packed his bags and took his performing rabbit and pet parrot aboard the ship.
When the time came for his first performance, the magician stepped onto the stage with the parrot on his arm and bowed. Then he proceeded to take his empty top hat and show it to the audience. However, his parrot, who had been with the magician a long time and knew all his secrets, squawked loudly, "Rabbit's in the hat! Rabbit's in the hat!!".
Fuming, the magician glared at his pet and pulled out the rabbit.
The next trick, the magician appeared to cleanly cut a rope in two. But the dratted parrot wouldn't shut up: "Rope's in one piece! Rope's in one piece!!!" Clearly the parrot was enjoying this.
The magician went beet red and stuffed the bird in a cage. Then, the magician did his third illusion, appearing to make his rabbit disappear entirely! But a raucous voice sang from the cage: "Rabbit's under the table! Rabbit's under the table!!!"
By this time the magician had had enough. He pulled out a pistol and shot at the parrot! But he missed and hit the ship's fuel tank. BOOM!!! The ship blew up.....
Then smoke cleared. The frazzled magician floated by on one piece of driftwood and the parrot floated by on another. No words were said. Finally, the parrot turned to the magician and croaked, "Ok, I give up. Where's the ship?!"
This next one was one he found online and emailed me a while ago. I like to pull it out every Thanksgiving.
The Parrot and Thanksgiving
A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the birds mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the birds attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to clean up the birds vocabulary.
Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. John, in desperation, threw up his hands, grabbed the bird, and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then, suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.
Fearing that hed hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto Johns out stretched arms and said, I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. Im sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior. John was stunned at the change in the birds attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued, May I ask what the Turkey did?
Good ones Cole. I never heard these, very good.
All very clever
[QUOTE=HotleadColdfeet;326271]Q: Why do penguins have flat feet?
A: To put out forest fires.
Q: Why do elephants have flat feet?
A: To put out flaming penguins!
Was your penguin near any forest fires and elephants by any chance, Joaquim? [/QUOTE
]You are right Cole.The penguin does look as though it has been put out by an elephant!
John.
An elephant used to crush ant nest for fun.
One day, the ants decided to an end to that.
They all climbed a tree and, when the elephant passed below the tree branch where they were they all jumped over it except one. They all failed to hit the elephant.
One of the ant on the ground shouted to the one left over the branch:
"Jump! Now!! Crush the bloody elephant!!"
An "Ant and elephant"-joke. (I'll try to translate it as good as I can)
An ant was out on a foodhunt when it started to rain.
The ant sheltered in an empty beerbottle and found a dropp at the bottom. As he was thirsty he drank it all and got a bit tipsy.
The rain stoped and the now drunken ant stepped out in the sun only to find all the animals flieing for their lifes as he walked down the path.
- What is this? he said. Aha, they are scared to bits. Well I'm not surprised. I'm a real Hulk!
The real reason for making the animals run was of course not the ant. It was the biggest elephant bull that was having a terrible toothache.
The ant and the elephant met and the now very confident ant screamed.
- MOOOVE, you big fatso!!
- Um.....what? said the elephant.
- Just move your big ass so I can come through!!
The elephant just turned and laid a big heap right ontop the ant, covering him entirely. Then he just walked of.
After a few minuits when the ant had digged himself through the heap, he made a fist with his front leg and screamed:
- You big idiot!! That hit me right in the EYE!!
Last edited by LOOP; 12-23-2014 at 04:27.
It is impossible for a man to begin to learn what he thinks he knows. -- Epictetus
When you open up that box there is something to eat inside? There are Penguins and then there are Penguins?
Rich
Hi Rich,
If Rob's earlier answer of Barrage Balloon is true, then the answer is "Nope, Just Hot Air!!!"
With one little prick, and a noise like a penguin farting, he would zip all over the sky, shrinking until he vanished from sight....
Coo! Now there's a thought ; Anyone got a hat pin??...
John.
What do you call a Penguin in the Sahara Desert????
Scroll down!
LOST!
And this from the joke in my Christmas Bon Bon!
Sacre Bleu!
Had the penguin run away to join the French Foreign Legion then?
Eileen.
How do you do Mrs Kyte?
The Legion Welcomes Penguins, They save a fortune on dress uniforms - they only have to issue each recruit with a white Kepi.
I don't think they accept the in the Paras, though, as they found the tops of the jump boots cut into their groins, and they hobbled into action bent over like black bananas, and couldn't see their targets through their tears! Ouch!!
They also had trouble switching weapons from automatic to single shot - it seems to be a sort of FINdicap.
John.
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