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Thread: Flying Penguins.

  1. #701

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Guntruck View Post


    On the other hand, all the little buggers look alike......




    Maybe somebodies father finally caught up with him!
    Rob.
    "Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death."

  2. #702

  3. #703

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    What a cool photo, Daniel! Where was it taken?
    <img src=http://www.wingsofwar.org/forums/image.php?type=sigpic&userid=2554&dateline=1409073309 border=0 alt= />
    "We do not stop playing when we get old, but we get old when we stop playing."

  4. #704

    Smile

    Steve

    He appears to have had too many stiff ones!




    Rich

  5. #705

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Nightbomber View Post
    What a cool photo, Daniel! Where was it taken?
    In Aviation Museum in Bodř, last year. The polar men looks little like Slávek (JasunaKozono)
    PS: It is De Havilland Canada DHC-3 Otter.
    Here is the detail

    Click image for larger version. 

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  6. #706

    Default A MERRY CHRISTMAS, FOLKS

    BEST WISHES TO EVERYONE, JOHN.
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails merry christmas.jpg  

  7. #707

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    You too John - good to see you in the circuit again

    "He is wise who watches"

  8. #708

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    Yes, nice to see my old thread resurrected, even though a Penguin is for life and not just Christmas.
    Rob.
    "Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death."

  9. #709

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    Quote Originally Posted by bumblie3 View Post
    BEST WISHES TO EVERYONE, JOHN.
    Click image for larger version. 

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    Rob.
    "Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death."

  10. #710

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    Quote Originally Posted by Flying Officer Kyte View Post
    Yes, nice to see my old thread resurrected, even though a Penguin is for life and not just Christmas.
    Rob.
    Its only a saying Rob. After reading my Penguin Collection many times, eventually most of the covers fell off. They honestly aren't built to last forever!! Or even life!
    Cheers,
    john.

  11. #711

  12. #712

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    Quote Originally Posted by Blackronin View Post
    Merry Christmas Penguin!

    Click image for larger version. 

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    Thanks, Joaquim. So that's what a penguin looks like when it has been ironed!

  13. #713

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    Quote Originally Posted by bumblie3 View Post
    Thanks, Joaquim. So that's what a penguin looks like when it has been ironed!

  14. #714

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    Run for your life - there are stupid people everywhere!

  15. #715

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    Quote Originally Posted by Guntruck View Post
    Mummy there's a man at the door with a bill.
    Don't be silly dear it must be a penguin with a hat on.
    Rob.
    "Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death."

  16. #716

    Default

    A man rushes into a bar. He shouts "Does anyone here own a giant penguin?"

    He hears a chorus of "No", then shouts, "Oh, s*** -- I just ran over a nun!"

  17. #717

    Smile

    John

    Warmest wishes for this holiday season!





    Rich
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Penguin Card.JPG  

  18. #718

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    My late grandpa loved jokes and was very good at telling them. I'll try to recreate one as I recall it.
    (Note: While this and the next joke may not feature penguins specifically, they are technically about "birds". )

    The Magician and His Parrot

    One day an up-and-coming magician was asked to give a performance aboard a cruise-ship in the Mediterranean. When he received this invitation he was very excited because he had never had such a big offer before. So he packed his bags and took his performing rabbit and pet parrot aboard the ship.
    When the time came for his first performance, the magician stepped onto the stage with the parrot on his arm and bowed. Then he proceeded to take his empty top hat and show it to the audience. However, his parrot, who had been with the magician a long time and knew all his secrets, squawked loudly, "Rabbit's in the hat! Rabbit's in the hat!!".
    Fuming, the magician glared at his pet and pulled out the rabbit.
    The next trick, the magician appeared to cleanly cut a rope in two. But the dratted parrot wouldn't shut up: "Rope's in one piece! Rope's in one piece!!!" Clearly the parrot was enjoying this.
    The magician went beet red and stuffed the bird in a cage. Then, the magician did his third illusion, appearing to make his rabbit disappear entirely! But a raucous voice sang from the cage: "Rabbit's under the table! Rabbit's under the table!!!"
    By this time the magician had had enough. He pulled out a pistol and shot at the parrot! But he missed and hit the ship's fuel tank. BOOM!!! The ship blew up.....
    Then smoke cleared. The frazzled magician floated by on one piece of driftwood and the parrot floated by on another. No words were said. Finally, the parrot turned to the magician and croaked, "Ok, I give up. Where's the ship?!"


    This next one was one he found online and emailed me a while ago. I like to pull it out every Thanksgiving.

    The Parrot and Thanksgiving
    A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird’s mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird’s attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to “clean up” the bird’s vocabulary.
    Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. John, in desperation, threw up his hands, grabbed the bird, and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then, suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.
    Fearing that he’d hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John’s out stretched arms and said, “I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I’m sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior.” John was stunned at the change in the bird’s attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued, “May I ask what the Turkey did?”

  19. #719

    Thumbs up

    Quote Originally Posted by HotleadColdfeet View Post
    My late grandpa loved jokes and was very good at telling them. I'll try to recreate one as I recall it.
    (Note: While this and the next joke may not feature penguins specifically, they are technically about "birds". )

    The Magician and His Parrot

    One day an up-and-coming magician was asked to give a performance aboard a cruise-ship in the Mediterranean. When he received this invitation he was very excited because he had never had such a big offer before. So he packed his bags and took his performing rabbit and pet parrot aboard the ship.
    When the time came for his first performance, the magician stepped onto the stage with the parrot on his arm and bowed. Then he proceeded to take his empty top hat and show it to the audience. However, his parrot, who had been with the magician a long time and knew all his secrets, squawked loudly, "Rabbit's in the hat! Rabbit's in the hat!!".
    Fuming, the magician glared at his pet and pulled out the rabbit.
    The next trick, the magician appeared to cleanly cut a rope in two. But the dratted parrot wouldn't shut up: "Rope's in one piece! Rope's in one piece!!!" Clearly the parrot was enjoying this.
    The magician went beet red and stuffed the bird in a cage. Then, the magician did his third illusion, appearing to make his rabbit disappear entirely! But a raucous voice sang from the cage: "Rabbit's under the table! Rabbit's under the table!!!"
    By this time the magician had had enough. He pulled out a pistol and shot at the parrot! But he missed and hit the ship's fuel tank. BOOM!!! The ship blew up.....
    Then smoke cleared. The frazzled magician floated by on one piece of driftwood and the parrot floated by on another. No words were said. Finally, the parrot turned to the magician and croaked, "Ok, I give up. Where's the ship?!"


    This next one was one he found online and emailed me a while ago. I like to pull it out every Thanksgiving.

    The Parrot and Thanksgiving
    A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird’s mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird’s attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to “clean up” the bird’s vocabulary.
    Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. John, in desperation, threw up his hands, grabbed the bird, and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then, suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.
    Fearing that he’d hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John’s out stretched arms and said, “I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I’m sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior.” John was stunned at the change in the bird’s attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued, “May I ask what the Turkey did?”
    Love the Turkey One!

  20. #720

    Default

    Good ones Cole. I never heard these, very good.

  21. #721

    Default

    All very clever

  22. #722

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Blackronin View Post
    Merry Christmas Penguin!

    Click image for larger version. 

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    Q: Why do penguins have flat feet?
    A: To put out forest fires.

    Q: Why do elephants have flat feet?
    A: To put out flaming penguins!

    Was your penguin near any forest fires and elephants by any chance, Joaquim?

  23. #723

    Default

    [QUOTE=HotleadColdfeet;326271]Q: Why do penguins have flat feet?
    A: To put out forest fires.

    Q: Why do elephants have flat feet?
    A: To put out flaming penguins!

    Was your penguin near any forest fires and elephants by any chance, Joaquim? [/QUOTE

    ]You are right Cole.The penguin does look as though it has been put out by an elephant!

    John.

  24. #724

    Default

    An elephant used to crush ant nest for fun.
    One day, the ants decided to an end to that.
    They all climbed a tree and, when the elephant passed below the tree branch where they were they all jumped over it except one. They all failed to hit the elephant.
    One of the ant on the ground shouted to the one left over the branch:
    "Jump! Now!! Crush the bloody elephant!!"

  25. #725

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by bumblie3 View Post
    ]You are right Cole.The penguin does look as though it has been put out by an elephant!

    John.
    I'm not surprised that the Penguin is put out John.
    I would be if I was that shape!
    Rob.
    "Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death."

  26. #726

    Thumbs up

    Quote Originally Posted by Blackronin View Post
    An elephant used to crush ant nest for fun.
    One day, the ants decided to an end to that.
    They all climbed a tree and, when the elephant passed below the tree branch where they were they all jumped over it except one. They all failed to hit the elephant.
    One of the ant on the ground shouted to the one left over the branch:
    "Jump! Now!! Crush the bloody elephant!!"

  27. #727

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Flying Officer Kyte View Post
    I'm not surprised that the Penguin is put out John.
    I would be if I was that shape!
    Rob.
    Are you trying to kid me that you aren't that shape??
    Cheers Rob,
    John.

  28. #728

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by bumblie3 View Post
    Are you trying to kid me that you aren't that shape??
    Cheers Rob,
    John.
    Of course not John.
    I am Kyte shaped.
    Rob.
    "Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death."

  29. #729

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Flying Officer Kyte View Post
    Of course not John.
    I am Kyte shaped.
    Rob.
    Aha! - A BOX KYTE, hey?
    John

  30. #730

    LOOP
    Guest


    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Flying Officer Kyte View Post
    Of course not John.
    I am Kyte shaped.
    Rob.

  31. #731

    LOOP
    Guest


    Default

    An "Ant and elephant"-joke. (I'll try to translate it as good as I can)

    An ant was out on a foodhunt when it started to rain.
    The ant sheltered in an empty beerbottle and found a dropp at the bottom. As he was thirsty he drank it all and got a bit tipsy.
    The rain stoped and the now drunken ant stepped out in the sun only to find all the animals flieing for their lifes as he walked down the path.
    - What is this? he said. Aha, they are scared to bits. Well I'm not surprised. I'm a real Hulk!
    The real reason for making the animals run was of course not the ant. It was the biggest elephant bull that was having a terrible toothache.
    The ant and the elephant met and the now very confident ant screamed.
    - MOOOVE, you big fatso!!
    - Um.....what? said the elephant.
    - Just move your big ass so I can come through!!
    The elephant just turned and laid a big heap right ontop the ant, covering him entirely. Then he just walked of.
    After a few minuits when the ant had digged himself through the heap, he made a fist with his front leg and screamed:
    - You big idiot!! That hit me right in the EYE!!
    Last edited by LOOP; 12-23-2014 at 04:27.

  32. #732

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by bumblie3 View Post
    Aha! - A BOX KYTE, hey?
    John
    Actually more like a Barrage balloon now I come to think of it.
    Rob.
    "Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death."

  33. #733

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Flying Officer Kyte View Post
    Actually more like a Barrage balloon now I come to think of it.
    Rob.
    A Kyte Balloon?

  34. #734

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by csadn View Post
    A Kyte Balloon?
    Hey Chris! That was going to be my next line.
    Rob.
    "Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death."

  35. #735

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Flying Officer Kyte View Post
    Hey Chris! That was going to be my next line.
    Rob.
    So I stole a line from a Kyte?

  36. #736

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by csadn View Post
    So I stole a line from a Kyte?
    Two said Slightly.
    "Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death."

  37. #737

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by csadn View Post
    So I stole a line from a Kyte?
    Looks like that's you adrift then, Kytie? Nothing new there!
    Have a Great Christmas guys.
    God Bless us all.
    John.

  38. #738

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Flying Officer Kyte View Post
    Hey Chris! That was going to be my next line.
    Rob.
    Quote Originally Posted by csadn View Post
    So I stole a line from a Kyte?
    Steal a fish from a man, and he'll go hungry for a day; steal his line and he starves?
    Steal a fish from a penguin, and the whole flock will be after you
    Karl
    It is impossible for a man to begin to learn what he thinks he knows. -- Epictetus

  39. #739

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    When you open up that box there is something to eat inside? There are Penguins and then there are Penguins?


    Rich

  40. #740

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by richard m schwab View Post
    When you open up that box there is something to eat inside? There are Penguins and then there are Penguins?


    Rich



    Click image for larger version. 

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    Rob.
    "Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death."

  41. #741

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by richard m schwab View Post
    When you open up that box there is something to eat inside? There are Penguins and then there are Penguins?


    Rich
    Hi Rich,
    If Rob's earlier answer of Barrage Balloon is true, then the answer is "Nope, Just Hot Air!!!"
    With one little prick, and a noise like a penguin farting, he would zip all over the sky, shrinking until he vanished from sight....
    Coo! Now there's a thought ; Anyone got a hat pin??...

    John.

  42. #742

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jager View Post
    Steal a fish from a penguin, and the whole flock will be after you :eek:
    In my case, it's "Steal a fish from a penguin, and it's a excuse to break out the napalm".... >:)

  43. #743

    Thumbs up

    What do you call a Penguin in the Sahara Desert????

    Scroll down!






    LOST!

    And this from the joke in my Christmas Bon Bon!

  44. #744

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by gully_raker View Post
    What do you call a Penguin in the Sahara Desert????

    Scroll down!






    LOST!

    And this from the joke in my Christmas Bon Bon!
    Is that what one would call a Bon mot then Baz?
    Rob.
    "Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death."

  45. #745

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by csadn View Post
    In my case, it's "Steal a fish from a penguin, and it's a excuse to break out the napalm".... >
    Yeh, those flightless birds will break out the napalm at any little excuse
    Karl
    It is impossible for a man to begin to learn what he thinks he knows. -- Epictetus

  46. #746

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jager View Post
    Yeh, those flightless birds will break out the napalm at any little excuse
    Karl
    In my case: It's the penguins getting napalmed.

  47. #747

    Smile

    Quote Originally Posted by Flying Officer Kyte View Post
    Is that what one would call a Bon mot then Baz?
    Rob.
    You could say that Rob but for the Penguin it was certainly not a Bon Voyage!

  48. #748

    Default

    Sacre Bleu!
    Had the penguin run away to join the French Foreign Legion then?
    Eileen.

  49. #749

    Thumbs up

    Quote Originally Posted by Mrs Kyte View Post
    Sacre Bleu!
    Had the penguin run away to join the French Foreign Legion then?
    Eileen.
    Now that just might be the reason Eileen!

  50. #750

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Mrs Kyte View Post
    Sacre Bleu!
    Had the penguin run away to join the French Foreign Legion then?
    Eileen.
    How do you do Mrs Kyte?

    The Legion Welcomes Penguins, They save a fortune on dress uniforms - they only have to issue each recruit with a white Kepi.

    I don't think they accept the in the Paras, though, as they found the tops of the jump boots cut into their groins, and they hobbled into action bent over like black bananas, and couldn't see their targets through their tears! Ouch!!

    They also had trouble switching weapons from automatic to single shot - it seems to be a sort of FINdicap.

    John.

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